Thirty-eight Special

"Noted for its accuracy and manageable recoil, the .38 Special remains the most popular revolver cartridge in the world more than a century after its introduction. It is used for target shooting, formal target competition, personal defense, and for hunting small game."- Wikipedia 

It doesn't feel old, really.
Thirty-eight feels like this inconspicuous birthday year that hovers between the culture exacerbated "mid-thirties confidence" and "forty over-the-hill irrelevance". 

Thirty-eight looks a bit like marking time when I glance its way.

A place holder of a year until the infamous ones show up.

A year in jeopardy of being stuck in what it was and paralyzed because of where it is headed.

And that is why 38 is so crucial.

Thirty-eight is special.

Thirty-eight has footprints and fingerprints that God intends to use just like 19, 25, and 32.

They're all good friends, you see- these years of my life.

They work together so seamlessly. Flowing one into the other, never overstepping each other's territory. I'm the one who tries to pit them against each other- comparing them, condemning some, praising others.

Yet here I am, just having barely aquatinted myself with this new year, so tempted to slap it with my preconceived ideas rather than embrace the character and potential that 38 brings as the clock strikes midnight. 

And just like that, 38 opens the door of opportunity and tiptoes in, inviting me to come along. 

But I get to choose: guilt or grace.

Guilt perpetuates the lies of insecurities and postponement.

Grace is what propels me through the uncertainty and into Christ's power and freedom.

Yes, thirty-eight is special.
I can see 26 and 35 are cheering her on and I see 40 waiting patiently, pregnant with her own potential.

And so, I am welcoming 38 in, and taking her by the hand and trusting where this year will lead me because it is a gift sculpted and designed by my Father.

I've got my thirty-eight special. My eyes are on the target. And we mean business.

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The #SimpleTruth is I choose #Grace over guilt. #eyesonthetarget 

Wha...wha...what If?

What if?...a question God has faced me with at every side lately. 

See, I am a fear walker. 

I like to dream nestled all snug in my heavenly Daddy's lap, and praise Him with abandon at His feet, and even speak truth from the Throne room, but I am afraid to step into the next thing. 

There. I said it. 

I am afraid. 

I am afraid of failure. 

I am afraid of people perceiving God confidence and radical faith as pride. 

I am afraid of people judging me with a chuckle of disdain and thinking, 

"...why does she think she is called to do that? Just who does she think she is?! There are so many others that are so much better at what she is trying to do." 

But God has been replacing that fear dialogue with His TRUTH dialogue:

"So what if? What if you did it and your worst fear happened? People laughed, judged, misunderstood...etc.?" 

He says, "Do you actually think that will keep Me from being with you? From blessing you? From empowering you? From loving you even if you stumble along the way? I called you to it. I will walk you through it."

And that has me re-thinking and asking this:

What if I do what He asks and He does show up? 

Or what if He shows up and I haven't stepped up to partner with Him in the doing? 

The latter are the "what if" questions that should drive me toward my anointing rather than allowing the other "what if" questions to keep me from it! 

When people embrace their anointing, it ruffles feathers. It stirs up jealously and our own self doubt, fears and regrets. 

But when people do not embrace their anointing, it leaves an unoccupied place in the Kingdom work within the atmosphere of influence God has placed you. 

I don't want my seat, my place of work in the Kingdom to go unoccupied. 

No, I refuse to leave my place empty at the table of His abundance. 

I refuse to listen to the enemy tell me I am unwanted and incapable.

I refuse to linger in self doubt and instead I will choose to linger in His presence when I am doubting. 

I refuse the thought that I am made for second best and defined by circumstances or my past. 

And when the world wants to pigeon hole me, define me, paralyze me, silence me, I refuse to settle for the mere good things because it is the GOD things that truly fulfill me, challenge me, grow me, propel me, bless me, and bring the Kingdom of Heaven to every place I enter.  

He didn't make me to be everyone else...He made me to be me.

We need to stop apologizing and cowering and start believing the words of Jeremiah 1:5-8:

"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations...do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.', declares the Lord."

No more uttering, "But God...I am only_______(fill in the blank with your phrase of choice.)"

"I am only" mentality is spiritual paralysis. 

I AM mentality is spiritual POWER! 

Whatever God thing You are reluctant to do, clinging to the fact that He is with you will calm the storm of every fear. 

It isn't prideful to step out. It's compete trust in His power to sustain you.  

So...what if you and I choose to live a life by design rather than default: Will everyone understand? Agree? Be kind? 

No. They won't. 

But we will be living in the Kingdom purpose for which we were created. 

That is a family, a community, a church, a workplace, a city, a county, a state, a country, a world that I want to see! 

What if God showed up? 

What if lives were changed?

What if I learned to trust and known Him like never before?

What if, indeed:

"What if everyone of us lived the rest of our lives believing that we are clothed in righteousness, forgiven, redeemed in every way, and so thoroughly loved by our Father in Heaven that it wouldn't matter what other people think of us? We might actually change the world!" - D. DeSilva

This Changes Everything

"Time in a person's presence changes everything. Relationship changes everything."-Francis Chan.

I get it. It's so easy to remember this or see evidence of this in our earthly relationships. Because, duh- those relationships have skin on.

But we get flustered and frustrated and confused as we attempt to walk out this goal or resolution of "improving our relationship with God."
We are paralyzed and perplexed as we hoard new devotionals and reading plans and sign up for all the studies and to do all the religious thingys...yet feel no closer- only fat with knowledge and depleted of time.

Do you see? Do you see that He doesn't want your academia, your works, your achievements your perfect routine, your perfect anything?

He just wants you.

Go ahead. Answer that question that just came up in your head: "But I don't ______. And I ______."

So what. What if there is a whole list of what you've done and shouldn't have. And  so what if there's a whole list of what you haven't done but should have.

He. Still. Wants. You.

Talking to Him through your day. Loving on Him as He loves on you in the middle of your mess.

Think of the person you love most, that you're closest to.

How did that happen? Because you read books about the person? Studied people who knew that person? Went to corporate gatherings that celebrated the  person?

I would dare say the answer is NO to each of these.

None of that makes sense when INTIMACY and connection is the specific and ultimate goal.
All of these can be healthy things in equipping you for an existing relationship-but they are not where it all begins and ends.

No wonder so many feel Jesus distant and irrelevant. It's because we try to have a relationship and know the heart of the One we have locked out of the room.

Can you imagine that familiar picture of Jesus standing at a door knocking?

Let's reframe that:

Often, we feel that's not for us, once we have gone from death to life- that the picture is irrelevant for our life.
But the unfortunate reality is that as soon as He ushered in our forgiveness, we ushered Him right back out the door.

In truth, this picture is an image of our hearts today, this moment.

Jesus stands at the door longing to connect with you, leaning in to call to you, gently saying,

"Will you put down that book, will you pause just a moment, will you walk away from that other love- that thing, that person that's sitting in my place- will you let me in? I have love and grace just for you. Just. For. You. Don't bother with that mess...I already see it...and I gave everything to meet you in the middle of it...just let me in."

This? Knowing THIS Jesus...it changes everything.

It's a relationship that will change all relationships.

A love that will change all other loves.

A Presence that will never leave you.

A Grace that will transform you.

Looking for change this new year? 
Let Him in.

And the rest? All is grace.
This changes everything.
“Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I’ll come right in and sit down to supper with you." Revelation 3:20
"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne." Hebrews 12:2 NLT
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Jesus? This changes everything. #simpletruth #letHimin www.juliemcneely.blogspot.com 

When the Cookies Burn

Ahhhh Christmas. 

It is my FAVORITE.

Celebrating and family and fun and...

And then? 

Then there are days when the cookies burn.

The ones you’ve been waiting to make and decorate…saving those best moments for some of the last.

The days where traditions tank and you wonder why you are even attempting it all.

Days when discussions over gift giving turn into irrational, heated arguments.

Days when you aren’t the one invited.

Days when you are in a room with people yet feel dreadfully alone.

Yep. 

Those days when all your cookies seem to be going down in a blaze of glory and you are groping your way through the smoke just trying to figure out how to breathe.

On the outside the house is all a glow for the season, but inside? It’s a season of mess.

Can you relate?

I hesitate to share the truth about my cookies burning.

Because who wants the burnt stuff? 

We all know I am not gonna serve anyone my burnt mess. No…I will present a platter of beautifully decorated cookies that are made with love from the bottom of my heart...but the truth is...I still have days when the cookies burn. 

So I am not sharing for sympathy.

I am sharing because I realize there are so many just like me who roll out another batch of dough, put another pan in the oven, when really you just want to sit down, give up and have a good cry over all the burnt cookies. 

When the smoke of loss, fear, failure, change, transition, hurt, bitterness, hardship, fractured relationships, lost friendships looms thick in your kitchen…please know that you are not alone.

Emmanuel.

God is with us.

WITH us.

This Christmas, remember that there is grace for all that is charred and burned. Jesus came so that you could take up, “...beauty for ashes, a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”(Isaiah 61:3)

HE makes all things new.

And so I set those cookies aside.

I open up doors and windows to let the funk out.

And I decide that I will bake another batch.

I am not done.

He is not done with me.

There is more sweetness in store.

I just have to wait and watch.

And even if the next batch burns, I am learning a lot in the making. 

And I am never alone…even when the cookies burn.

Thankful for the Empty

I remember as a little girl being taught to say "thank you". Some of the "magic words", they say.

My chubby little hands full of whatever thing I had wanted or had been given...it was always supposed to end up with a "thank you".

But no one tells you when you are little that you will have to learn to say thank you with empty hands.

When you are staring at Thanksgiving Day for the first time without a grandparent, it feels empty.

When you are faced with a day all about thanks, but friendships once present are painfully absent.

When you are walking through daily life with the glass of fractured and broken realtionships painful all in your soul, and you're supposed to be grateful.

I'm not gonna lie.

Thankfulness is tough.

Life shoves you up under the water and then you hear a muffled yell, "Be thankful!"...when all you want to do is breathe.

You can only pretend you have air in your lungs for so long. At some point, stuff starts shutting down and you are sinking to the bottom.

Anyone?

Empty places make you feel like that.

And thank you is hard.

I'm not just talking about routine thank you's in the middle of lack, though.

Finding ways to give thanks in the voids of life is one thing. 

But the hard place God has been leading me? To give thanks for them.

Being the good girl, I want to scurry around and stay busy making lists of all that I do have- a good practice...but not without its ulterior motives. 

See, I rationalize that if I keep my mind busy enough, it won't continuously remind my heart of the aching, gaping hole. 

But all the while, the Lord is asking me to stop and stand up right in the middle of that empty place and learn to praise Him for what isn't there.

He wants me to trust Him in the taking so I can believe Him for the filling.

He wants me to be grateful for the absence so I can be more aware of His presence.

Saying thank you as you hand over something you don't want to give away? That's tough.

Saying thank you again and again as you stand empty handed for what seems like forever? It feels impossible.

But God.

His grace will take you where you cannot go on your own- right to the middle of that empty place.

Because I promise that is where I have found-and you will find- His loving arms hold you the tightest, His promises ring the truest, His hope shines the brightest, His presence is the fullest.

So I am learning to take a deep breath of grace, and hold out these hands-remembering the empty hands that Jesus stretched out for me.

Why?

Because His empty hands led to an empty tomb!

The stone wasn't just rolled away so Jesus could get out...it was so we could see in! 

Otherwise, we would have assumed death resided there! 

They had to look at the empty place so they could see that it gave rise to LIFE! 

Jesus gave me an empty tomb to be thankful for so that I can give thanks for my empty places. 

He turns misery into marvel.

He grows a garden of gratitude from the gaping holes of life.

With Jesus, LIFE always comes breaking out of the empty places!

It's true, I'm all grown up now. 

But to be perfectly honest, I still feel periodically inclined to have a tantrum about what isn't in my hands.

But God.

God is teaching me to say "thank you" instead. Not because they are magic words, but because they are words full of power and life.

Maybe you, too, are faced with your empty in this season of gratitude.

Don't lose hope: LOOSE it in the middle of your empty place by thanking God for the life that will most assuredly spring from it.

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Isaiah 43:19

"...Abraham was first named “father” and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing. ” 

Romans 4:17-18 The Message

"But Peter rose and ran to the tomb; stooping and looking in, he saw the linen cloths by themselves; and he went home marveling at what had happened."

Luke 24:12

Share #SimpleTruth today:

"God wants me to trust Him in the taking so I can believe Him for the filling." -@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth #emptyhands #thankfulheart

Breakfast with Daddy

"I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name"

-"He Knows My Name"

 by Franscesca Batistelli. Listen here.

(full lyrics at end of post)

He woke me up with a phone call. 

It was my daddy.

He asked what I was doing at the moment, then he told me he was taking me to breakfast.

Because that is the way my daddy loves- on purpose and without hesitation.

And I needed that kind of love that rushes in and saves me from myself and my crazy.

I was sinking in the quick sand of life and listening to lies that screamed loud to define me.

And my daddy came to get me.

It's the kind of love that reaches back to where he sees me walking and loves me in that place. 

Not because of how I am walking through it, not in spite of my walking in that place. 

No, he loves me completely separate of any place he happens to find me wandering.

He just loves me.

I am his child. 

There is no accomplishment that changes that. There is no failure that taints that. There is no thing I can do to strengthen that truth. 

It simply is.

He loves me when I see clearly, he loves me when I walk blindly towards the cliffs of life.

He loves me when I soar on the heights of who I am, he loves me when I wallow in the muck of the worst of me.

He just loves me.

He loves me...and when he sees the world spewing lies all around me, he pulls me out of those moments and I can look into his eyes and I am just his little girl, wholly and completely loved, even as I sit a mess at the breakfast table.

And so my earthly daddy showed me the truth of my Heavenly Father on a random Tuesday morning of this life. 

That I can pull up a mess to the table He spreads before me and know I am loved.

Not because of what I have or haven't done...but just simply because of this truth: I am His child.

I am adored because of that truth alone.

There is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less.

He rushes in to save me from myself and my crazy, without hesitation.

My Daddy will always come to get me.

He is mighty to save.

He knows your name.

He knows you- all of you....and loves you just as you are.

Accept the invitation.

Pull up to the table.

Look into your Father's eyes.

When you see that kind of love, it changes you.

You are so adored.

Post/Tweet this #SimpleTruth today:

"There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less."- @JuliePMac #SimpleTruth

"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” 

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."

Isaiah 43:1 NIV

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children."

Romans 8:14-16 NIV

"He Knows My Name"

Spent today in a conversation

In the mirror face to face with

somebody less than perfect

I wouldn't choose me first if

I was looking for a champion

In fact I'd understand if

You picked everyone before me

But that's just not my story

True to who You are

You saw my heart

and made

Something out of nothing

[Chorus:]

I don't need my name in lights

I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name oh, oh,

He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet

I'm meant to be a lion

I'll roar beyond a song

With every moment that I've got

True to who You are

You saw my heart

and made

Something out of nothing

[Chorus]

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,

His forever, held in treasure...

I am loved

I don't need my name in lights...

I'm famous in my Father's eyes...

Facing My Ugly

Life sometimes feels like a blender.

You take all these good, recognizable, individual ingredients, cram them into this container and hit the switch.

What you end up with is usually looks pretty disgusting. 

The kind of thing that evokes the question, “You’re gonna drink that?!?”. 

Yeah, life can be like that sometimes.

My life feels like that now.

My response? 

White knuckle grip something! Nail it all down! Whatever it takes to keep it all in place- yeah, do that!

I realize I need to let go.

Let go of the things I long to control, but cannot. 

But realizing I need to let go leads me to an even more uncomfortable place:

staring in the face of why I want to hold on. 

And it’s ugly.

Kind of like if you were to google spider bite images or boils or goiters or something. 

That kind of ugly.

The ugly you wish you’d never seen.

The ugly you wish you could scrub out of your mind’s eye.

But I’ve seen it now…this ugly that’s in my soul.

And so I must face it.

But unlike those horrific images that haunt behind closed eyes, looking full on at the ugly in our own soul doesn’t have to leave us scarred and scared.

When we see the worst part of ourselves magnified under the lens of the Holy Spirit, it is to bring us forgiveness and freedom.

Forgiveness for attitudes, choices, thoughts, actions, that not only hurt the heart of God, but the hearts of His created.

Freedom to leave those destructive patterns in the past and walk forward in grace.

Clarity is a fickle thing. Sometimes you long for it, beg for it, plead for it…wait for it.

And then it comes.

But the problem with clarity is that you can’t unsee what clarity reveals.

Once you see it, you have to respond.

There is no such thing as a lack of response. 

You are faced with the choice:

obedience or disobedience- cooperate with the Holy Spirit or cooperate with the enemy.

Neither is easy.

But only one gives life.

The one thing we can control is our choice of whom we will trust when life spins out of control. 

And it will.

It’s time to let go and trust that God is who He says He is- not just in everyone else’s life- but in yours, and in mine.

See. Know. Trust. Receive. Live.

God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly…and replace it with life giving grace.

So blend away, life.

Jesus is showing me how to enjoy the ride…even in the face of my ugly.

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

Ezekiel 36:26

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet."

James 4:7-10

Post or Tweet this:

"God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly, and replace it with life giving grace.”-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth 

What are you holding on to?

What in life has you in the blender, dizzy from it all?

I would love to pray for you!

Comment below.