Wha...wha...what If?

What if?...a question God has faced me with at every side lately. 

See, I am a fear walker. 

I like to dream nestled all snug in my heavenly Daddy's lap, and praise Him with abandon at His feet, and even speak truth from the Throne room, but I am afraid to step into the next thing. 

There. I said it. 

I am afraid. 

I am afraid of failure. 

I am afraid of people perceiving God confidence and radical faith as pride. 

I am afraid of people judging me with a chuckle of disdain and thinking, 

"...why does she think she is called to do that? Just who does she think she is?! There are so many others that are so much better at what she is trying to do." 

But God has been replacing that fear dialogue with His TRUTH dialogue:

"So what if? What if you did it and your worst fear happened? People laughed, judged, misunderstood...etc.?" 

He says, "Do you actually think that will keep Me from being with you? From blessing you? From empowering you? From loving you even if you stumble along the way? I called you to it. I will walk you through it."

And that has me re-thinking and asking this:

What if I do what He asks and He does show up? 

Or what if He shows up and I haven't stepped up to partner with Him in the doing? 

The latter are the "what if" questions that should drive me toward my anointing rather than allowing the other "what if" questions to keep me from it! 

When people embrace their anointing, it ruffles feathers. It stirs up jealously and our own self doubt, fears and regrets. 

But when people do not embrace their anointing, it leaves an unoccupied place in the Kingdom work within the atmosphere of influence God has placed you. 

I don't want my seat, my place of work in the Kingdom to go unoccupied. 

No, I refuse to leave my place empty at the table of His abundance. 

I refuse to listen to the enemy tell me I am unwanted and incapable.

I refuse to linger in self doubt and instead I will choose to linger in His presence when I am doubting. 

I refuse the thought that I am made for second best and defined by circumstances or my past. 

And when the world wants to pigeon hole me, define me, paralyze me, silence me, I refuse to settle for the mere good things because it is the GOD things that truly fulfill me, challenge me, grow me, propel me, bless me, and bring the Kingdom of Heaven to every place I enter.  

He didn't make me to be everyone else...He made me to be me.

We need to stop apologizing and cowering and start believing the words of Jeremiah 1:5-8:

"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations...do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.', declares the Lord."

No more uttering, "But God...I am only_______(fill in the blank with your phrase of choice.)"

"I am only" mentality is spiritual paralysis. 

I AM mentality is spiritual POWER! 

Whatever God thing You are reluctant to do, clinging to the fact that He is with you will calm the storm of every fear. 

It isn't prideful to step out. It's compete trust in His power to sustain you.  

So...what if you and I choose to live a life by design rather than default: Will everyone understand? Agree? Be kind? 

No. They won't. 

But we will be living in the Kingdom purpose for which we were created. 

That is a family, a community, a church, a workplace, a city, a county, a state, a country, a world that I want to see! 

What if God showed up? 

What if lives were changed?

What if I learned to trust and known Him like never before?

What if, indeed:

"What if everyone of us lived the rest of our lives believing that we are clothed in righteousness, forgiven, redeemed in every way, and so thoroughly loved by our Father in Heaven that it wouldn't matter what other people think of us? We might actually change the world!" - D. DeSilva

Noisy Bird

"How rude. I mean, doesn’t this bird know I am trying to spend some QUIET time with the Lord on this beautiful gulf coast beach morning?” 

That’s what I was thinking at first. 

I really did try to let it go and concentrate, but my ADD tendencies got the better of me and I full on immersed myself in the unfolding bird drama.      

This solitary bird standing on the shore in the dry sand was wailing…incessantly. 

As in shrill, ear piercing shrieks. 

Once I realized it wasn’t just chirping or doing its regular thing, I got a little concerned:

Maybe this bird is hurt? 

Can it even fly? 

Maybe she is a mama bird attracting away predators in ultimate sacrifice. 

Maybe she is warning her bird friends of impending danger. 

Maybe I should help this wittle birdie!

My curiosity was peaked…so I watched.

All week, I had been fascinated with birds that would fly over the shallow coastline and dive bomb the water to catch a fish. The precision and commitment was intense.

So I noticed that this noisy bird, still standing on and never moving from the shore, continually screeched at another bird flying nearby over the water as it fished. 

The fisher bird would come to the noisy bird and go back to the water again and again.

Noisy bird never missed a beat. Ever. 

It constantly cried out to the bird fishing.

And then, it happened.

The other bird caught a fish and took it to Noisy bird and fed it.

Then it happened again. And again and again.

The only time Noisy bird was silent, was in the 3 seconds it took it to swallow that fish, then it went right back to the wailing.

The fisher bird went out and back, out and back, over and over.

I was beginning to be inspired! 

Here is this bird willing to feed a fellow bird-injured and impaired-who is unable to fish on its own! 

But then, to my surprise, Noisy bird, who had seemed so bound to the shore-seemingly physically unable to do what would sustain its life- just took off in flight! <insert audible gasp on my part>

Now, this was no baby bird. 

It was full grown, just like the one feeding it. 

It had no impairments.

Yet, it pierced the atmosphere, demanding to be fed. 

And this fisher bird complied.

Then, Noisy bird got its fill of the whole ordeal and took off. 

But I kept thinking: what will happen when this bird gets hungry next time? 

Because, the funny thing about hunger is that it will always come again.

So what then? 

Will it make another scene, shrieking demands to be fed? 

Will some other bird be its fisher? 

The very hunger that gave rise to Noisy bird’s shriek could have been satisfied in beautiful stillness if the bird itself would have pursued its source of nourishment.

There would have been no need for the drama.

No need for the squawking.

Just focus. Then food. Then nourishment….and repeat.

This very bird who stayed noisy on the shore was created with vision to see into the ocean depths, to find its sustenance and strength in the vast ocean, and wings to rise above waves and dangers that could drag it down.

And so are we.

We were knit together to pursue our Source of sustenance and strength, to rise above.

But it’s so much easier some days to stand on the shore where we feel safe and pitch a fit and make noise.

The reality is, the most distracting and paralyzing noise in my life comes from my own mouth.

Instead of letting my soul hunger drive me toward the use of my uniquely given gifts, talents, and personality in the relentless pursuit of the Person of Jesus, I plant my feet and wail about my self-imposed emptiness.

Following Christ isn’t just about holding eternal death at bay.

It is about embracing the abundant life Jesus died for us to have.

It is about the soaring, the diving, the hunger…understanding that the more I seek Him, the more I find Him.

And there is growth in the pursuit.

Pursuit begins with choosing to move.

Choose to embrace all He created you to be and died for you to receive.

If you stay noisy on the shore, the joy of pursuit will never be revealed, the reward of encounter and fulfillment never truly experienced.

Staying hungry is a good thing. 

Waiting for somebody to bring you a meal on the shore? Not so much.

Yes, life is noisy. 

But let’s resolve that the noise that distracts ourselves and others from their pursuit of Jesus won’t be coming from us.

Take flight, friends.

No more noisy bird.