My Itty Bitty Life

Ambassador. 

It's a huge assignment. 

And sometimes I feel so small for the task. 

But Jesus didn't think so: He died and rose again for me to have it. 

He absolutely believes that I am enough for every single task, every single encounter, every single valley I enter and every single mountain I am called to scale to make His name known. 

Why? 

Not because of any good or any power that I alone possess. No. 

It's because He is enough in me. 

When I fully embrace the One the world so desperately needs to know, that is when I so beautifully make Him known. 

Not because I am asking the world to look at me, but because I am so locked in on Him they can't help but see the One who has captured my gaze.

I can only truly represent a heart I fully know. 

That is when I become an ambassador for Christ. 

So today, even when I feel like the tiny and powerless, I will focus my spirit on the only One with power to make me big and bold. He will take my itty bitty and do great big things as I stand surrendered. 

What will my life say about Who He is today? 

 #SimpleTruth to power your day, you life and connect others to His tender grace.

~@JuliePMac 

When I Forget God is Faithful

Sometimes our circumstances cast such a thick fog around us, that it becomes hard to see God in the midst of where we are. That is when have to look back and remember Him where we were. 

It is way too easy for me to complain and wail like the Israelites in the desert, instead of stand in faith and call on My Deliverer and Red Sea Parter. 

How quickly I forget. 

And that's why I have to be diligent to remember. 

That's why you see me scribbling in my journal, putting God's promises up on my door frames, mirrors and car dash- not because I want the appearance of holy...but because I have to remind my thick headed, stubborn flesh of the Truth of Who my God is:

 Faithful. Present. Fully Able. 

When I look around and feel claustrophobic because the reality of life is pressing in on every side, that is the moment of Truth: the moment I press back with the Truth I choose to keep before my eyes- God is Faithful. 

Believe me, just like the Israelites, I have deserts I wander in, but I am choosing not to set up camp there- and I remind the enemy to not issue me an address- because I am just traveling through. 

My God is ever faithful, and He is leading the way. 

"...if you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand firm at all."

Isaiah 7:9 

#SimpleTruth #first5 @first5app @proverbs31ministries @wblight 

The Banner Doesn't Lie

In the not too far past, there was some big fight in the news.

Not like a fight at school fight, or "I don’t like your opinion fight”- It was a boxing fight. 

I don’t like boxing.

I find it rather barbaric and people really mess up their faces and noses and ears and…cognitive abilities. (Rocky fans, don’t hate on me- I still like inspirational boxing movies from time to time.)

So because this particular match was all the buzz, per the usual, it showed up in my Facebook newsfeed. 

But something really struck me as a picture of all this popped up on my screen.

The fighter was on his way out to the ring with this entourage all around him- security, fancy women, coaches, trainers and the like. And then there was this one guy standing right behind him as they were walking the path to the ring who was consistently holding above the fighters head this attention grabbing belt that declared the fighter’s title.

This guys job was to make sure that everyone knew who this fighter was. It was his accomplishment on display so everyone could see why he deserved to be in the fight.

But I bet that boxer hadn’t won every single fight he had ever been in his whole life. I bet he’s had a few scars and bumps and bruises along the way- if in the ones he did win. He probably hasn’t thrown every punch correctly and he probably missed a few blocks.

But he was still a champion.

The belt doesn’t lie. 

Now I am not a boxer- nor do I ever want to be- although I wouldn’t mind following their workout to get those killer arms.

But...I am a fighter. 

I get into the ring daily as a Jesus follower.
And I have the Holy Spirit and an entourage around me that help me stay focused and pressing into to Whom and what will train me for the fight in front of me. 

But I can’t forget about the One behind me.
He is holding His banner over me that says “Love”.
Just like the song I used to sing in church as a child:
"His Banner Over Me is Love" (linked here is a grown up Bethel Music version you will love)

What simple words that I never quite understood until now.
See, those words weren't just telling me about Jesus...they hold truth about me- my identity in Christ.

I act like Jesus is constantly shaking His head in disgust at the opportunities I have missed in the Kingdom fights, or the punches from the enemy to my life that I so stupidly welcomed instead of blocking. I act like I have to cover the bumps, bruises and scars in shame.

But that would only be what would happen if it were my accomplishments that determined whether or not He holds that banner over my head. 

But it isn’t my accomplishment…it is His.
And Jesus says, "It is finished."(John 19:30)

When I accept that He conquered death on the cross and won the complete victory for me, He holds that banner of LOVE high over my head saying, 
“THIS IS THE ONE THAT I LOVE! 
I won eternal victory for HER. 
This one is my beloved! 
She is VICTORIOUS!” 

And even when I mess up, that banner over me never changes. 

Just like that fighter, that truth changes the way that you walk.

Confidence becomes a part of your stride, even when personal perfection isn’t always present.

Why? Because you know your title.

You know who you are. And as a Believer, you know WHOSE you are. 

I don’t deserve a place in the fight for His Kingdom, but Grace says otherwise.

His banner of Love over me is an irrevocable title of Victory by His righteousness that cannot be removed. 

I have screwed up. I will screw up. 

But in Him I am a Love lavished, Grace given, Righteousness received champion.

The Banner doesn’t lie.

Let’s start walking to the fight like we know Who we are and Whose we are.

Let’s live out loud for Jesus in a way that it becomes the evidence that LOVE is the banner He waves over us and that transforms us and sets us apart.

His banner over you is Love. 

#SimpleTruth that can transform. 

“He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.”

Song of Solomon 2:4

A Posture of Grace

John 8 begins with a bang. 

An adulterous woman, caught in the act. I know many of us recognize sin in our life- but how many of us can say that the thing or things we are most ashamed about, we have actually been caught in the very act of doing, and then had it announced in the town square before religious leaders?! 

Let that sink in a fat minute. 

This is a for real moment in this woman's life. As in- how do you even stand up under the weight of all that shame? But they stood her before Jesus and her community and declared her sin for all to see. 

What strikes me is what Jesus does: he stoops low. He bends down. 

He took the posture of Grace. 

Philippians 2 reminds us of that:

“And after He had appeared in human form, He abased and humbled Himself [still further] and carried His obedience to the extreme of death, even the death of the cross! Therefore [because He stooped so low] God has highly exalted Him and has freely bestowed on Him the name that is above every name,”

Philippians 2:8-9 AMP

He lowered himself so she could stand in the midst of her accusers. 

And that is what the cross and empty grave have done for you and me. 

All her accusers dropped their stones and walked away, "...until only Jesus was left with the woman, standing there."(John 8:9) 

Only Jesus. Alone in His presence. That's when you see the truth of who He is and who you are in His eyes.  

I'm afraid that as soon as the stones fell, I would have run away in shame, bearing the weight of the condemnation that brought me to that place. 

But she remained...and in doing so let Jesus declare the opportunity for new life over her.

"...And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and from now on sin no more." John 8:11

In the same place they declared her sin and shame, JESUS declared her righteous through His grace. 

When I am accused, when I am judged- right or wrongly- how do I respond? 

Do I run from Him or to Him? 

Do I dare remain as this woman did and glimpse this unconditional Love? 

Am I willing to position myself to receive grace from the One who is postured to issue it? 

Only then can I step into who HE says I am- when I allow His declaration of truth to redeem me. 

Jesus disarmed her accusers to arm her for LIFE. 

That is the power of Grace. 

Let that marinate in you so it can pour out through you in every place you enter. 

Let's position ourselves for Grace, but let's take a posture of Grace in our lives so that others can see this crazy love of Jesus. 

I am asking the Holy Spirit to help me embrace it AND live it. 

That's my prayer for you today, too. ~Julie 

#simpletruth 

@first5 #first5 @proverbs31

Perfect Love

There's nothing I can do to make Jesus love me less, and there's nothing I can do to make Him love me more. 

He loves me perfectly. 

This is Grace truth The Holy Spirit stitched into this sinner's heart years ago. But I often revisit it...run my fingers across those words to remind my weary soul. 

And I repeat to myself: 

I don't have to BE perfect for Jesus to love me perfectly. 

At times like this that I just have to journal it to remind myself- to make it sink deep, because some days, some seasons, the world screams at me-this mama, wife, daughter, sister, pastor's wife, teacher, worship leader, writer- yes, the world screams the exact opposite at every turn. 

I am tempted to fall in love with working towards some false perfection rather than His Perfect Love.

But JESUS.

Hebrews 12 tells me that JESUS is the Author AND Perfecter of my faith. 

When I look Grace in the face, I am undone. 

When I am enveloped in the embrace of my Savior, my walls fall. 

When I am positioned at His feet, 

I am not driven to DO; I am driven to LOVE.

I cannot hold back or hold in what He has done for me. 

When I live from His love and not for it, I am FREE to truly love. 

 

Hey Do-er? Breathe deeply. 

Every single bit of His love, grace, and forgiveness is available to you right in the middle of your mess and your crazy. Let's change our cry from "If God..." to the truth declaration: God IS! 

God is for you. 

God is with you. 

God is love. 

God is enough. 

He loves us perfectly, even though we are far from it. 

Find rest and JOY and POWER in that truth today. 

You are SO loved. 

Hebrews 12:2

"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne."

Romans 5:8

"But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." 

Thirty-eight Special

"Noted for its accuracy and manageable recoil, the .38 Special remains the most popular revolver cartridge in the world more than a century after its introduction. It is used for target shooting, formal target competition, personal defense, and for hunting small game."- Wikipedia 

It doesn't feel old, really.
Thirty-eight feels like this inconspicuous birthday year that hovers between the culture exacerbated "mid-thirties confidence" and "forty over-the-hill irrelevance". 

Thirty-eight looks a bit like marking time when I glance its way.

A place holder of a year until the infamous ones show up.

A year in jeopardy of being stuck in what it was and paralyzed because of where it is headed.

And that is why 38 is so crucial.

Thirty-eight is special.

Thirty-eight has footprints and fingerprints that God intends to use just like 19, 25, and 32.

They're all good friends, you see- these years of my life.

They work together so seamlessly. Flowing one into the other, never overstepping each other's territory. I'm the one who tries to pit them against each other- comparing them, condemning some, praising others.

Yet here I am, just having barely aquatinted myself with this new year, so tempted to slap it with my preconceived ideas rather than embrace the character and potential that 38 brings as the clock strikes midnight. 

And just like that, 38 opens the door of opportunity and tiptoes in, inviting me to come along. 

But I get to choose: guilt or grace.

Guilt perpetuates the lies of insecurities and postponement.

Grace is what propels me through the uncertainty and into Christ's power and freedom.

Yes, thirty-eight is special.
I can see 26 and 35 are cheering her on and I see 40 waiting patiently, pregnant with her own potential.

And so, I am welcoming 38 in, and taking her by the hand and trusting where this year will lead me because it is a gift sculpted and designed by my Father.

I've got my thirty-eight special. My eyes are on the target. And we mean business.

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The #SimpleTruth is I choose #Grace over guilt. #eyesonthetarget 

Wha...wha...what If?

What if?...a question God has faced me with at every side lately. 

See, I am a fear walker. 

I like to dream nestled all snug in my heavenly Daddy's lap, and praise Him with abandon at His feet, and even speak truth from the Throne room, but I am afraid to step into the next thing. 

There. I said it. 

I am afraid. 

I am afraid of failure. 

I am afraid of people perceiving God confidence and radical faith as pride. 

I am afraid of people judging me with a chuckle of disdain and thinking, 

"...why does she think she is called to do that? Just who does she think she is?! There are so many others that are so much better at what she is trying to do." 

But God has been replacing that fear dialogue with His TRUTH dialogue:

"So what if? What if you did it and your worst fear happened? People laughed, judged, misunderstood...etc.?" 

He says, "Do you actually think that will keep Me from being with you? From blessing you? From empowering you? From loving you even if you stumble along the way? I called you to it. I will walk you through it."

And that has me re-thinking and asking this:

What if I do what He asks and He does show up? 

Or what if He shows up and I haven't stepped up to partner with Him in the doing? 

The latter are the "what if" questions that should drive me toward my anointing rather than allowing the other "what if" questions to keep me from it! 

When people embrace their anointing, it ruffles feathers. It stirs up jealously and our own self doubt, fears and regrets. 

But when people do not embrace their anointing, it leaves an unoccupied place in the Kingdom work within the atmosphere of influence God has placed you. 

I don't want my seat, my place of work in the Kingdom to go unoccupied. 

No, I refuse to leave my place empty at the table of His abundance. 

I refuse to listen to the enemy tell me I am unwanted and incapable.

I refuse to linger in self doubt and instead I will choose to linger in His presence when I am doubting. 

I refuse the thought that I am made for second best and defined by circumstances or my past. 

And when the world wants to pigeon hole me, define me, paralyze me, silence me, I refuse to settle for the mere good things because it is the GOD things that truly fulfill me, challenge me, grow me, propel me, bless me, and bring the Kingdom of Heaven to every place I enter.  

He didn't make me to be everyone else...He made me to be me.

We need to stop apologizing and cowering and start believing the words of Jeremiah 1:5-8:

"'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations...do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you.', declares the Lord."

No more uttering, "But God...I am only_______(fill in the blank with your phrase of choice.)"

"I am only" mentality is spiritual paralysis. 

I AM mentality is spiritual POWER! 

Whatever God thing You are reluctant to do, clinging to the fact that He is with you will calm the storm of every fear. 

It isn't prideful to step out. It's compete trust in His power to sustain you.  

So...what if you and I choose to live a life by design rather than default: Will everyone understand? Agree? Be kind? 

No. They won't. 

But we will be living in the Kingdom purpose for which we were created. 

That is a family, a community, a church, a workplace, a city, a county, a state, a country, a world that I want to see! 

What if God showed up? 

What if lives were changed?

What if I learned to trust and known Him like never before?

What if, indeed:

"What if everyone of us lived the rest of our lives believing that we are clothed in righteousness, forgiven, redeemed in every way, and so thoroughly loved by our Father in Heaven that it wouldn't matter what other people think of us? We might actually change the world!" - D. DeSilva

This Changes Everything

"Time in a person's presence changes everything. Relationship changes everything."-Francis Chan.

I get it. It's so easy to remember this or see evidence of this in our earthly relationships. Because, duh- those relationships have skin on.

But we get flustered and frustrated and confused as we attempt to walk out this goal or resolution of "improving our relationship with God."
We are paralyzed and perplexed as we hoard new devotionals and reading plans and sign up for all the studies and to do all the religious thingys...yet feel no closer- only fat with knowledge and depleted of time.

Do you see? Do you see that He doesn't want your academia, your works, your achievements your perfect routine, your perfect anything?

He just wants you.

Go ahead. Answer that question that just came up in your head: "But I don't ______. And I ______."

So what. What if there is a whole list of what you've done and shouldn't have. And  so what if there's a whole list of what you haven't done but should have.

He. Still. Wants. You.

Talking to Him through your day. Loving on Him as He loves on you in the middle of your mess.

Think of the person you love most, that you're closest to.

How did that happen? Because you read books about the person? Studied people who knew that person? Went to corporate gatherings that celebrated the  person?

I would dare say the answer is NO to each of these.

None of that makes sense when INTIMACY and connection is the specific and ultimate goal.
All of these can be healthy things in equipping you for an existing relationship-but they are not where it all begins and ends.

No wonder so many feel Jesus distant and irrelevant. It's because we try to have a relationship and know the heart of the One we have locked out of the room.

Can you imagine that familiar picture of Jesus standing at a door knocking?

Let's reframe that:

Often, we feel that's not for us, once we have gone from death to life- that the picture is irrelevant for our life.
But the unfortunate reality is that as soon as He ushered in our forgiveness, we ushered Him right back out the door.

In truth, this picture is an image of our hearts today, this moment.

Jesus stands at the door longing to connect with you, leaning in to call to you, gently saying,

"Will you put down that book, will you pause just a moment, will you walk away from that other love- that thing, that person that's sitting in my place- will you let me in? I have love and grace just for you. Just. For. You. Don't bother with that mess...I already see it...and I gave everything to meet you in the middle of it...just let me in."

This? Knowing THIS Jesus...it changes everything.

It's a relationship that will change all relationships.

A love that will change all other loves.

A Presence that will never leave you.

A Grace that will transform you.

Looking for change this new year? 
Let Him in.

And the rest? All is grace.
This changes everything.
“Look at me. I stand at the door. I knock. If you hear me call and open the door, I’ll come right in and sit down to supper with you." Revelation 3:20
"We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne." Hebrews 12:2 NLT
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Jesus? This changes everything. #simpletruth #letHimin www.juliemcneely.blogspot.com 

Breakfast with Daddy

"I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name"

-"He Knows My Name"

 by Franscesca Batistelli. Listen here.

(full lyrics at end of post)

He woke me up with a phone call. 

It was my daddy.

He asked what I was doing at the moment, then he told me he was taking me to breakfast.

Because that is the way my daddy loves- on purpose and without hesitation.

And I needed that kind of love that rushes in and saves me from myself and my crazy.

I was sinking in the quick sand of life and listening to lies that screamed loud to define me.

And my daddy came to get me.

It's the kind of love that reaches back to where he sees me walking and loves me in that place. 

Not because of how I am walking through it, not in spite of my walking in that place. 

No, he loves me completely separate of any place he happens to find me wandering.

He just loves me.

I am his child. 

There is no accomplishment that changes that. There is no failure that taints that. There is no thing I can do to strengthen that truth. 

It simply is.

He loves me when I see clearly, he loves me when I walk blindly towards the cliffs of life.

He loves me when I soar on the heights of who I am, he loves me when I wallow in the muck of the worst of me.

He just loves me.

He loves me...and when he sees the world spewing lies all around me, he pulls me out of those moments and I can look into his eyes and I am just his little girl, wholly and completely loved, even as I sit a mess at the breakfast table.

And so my earthly daddy showed me the truth of my Heavenly Father on a random Tuesday morning of this life. 

That I can pull up a mess to the table He spreads before me and know I am loved.

Not because of what I have or haven't done...but just simply because of this truth: I am His child.

I am adored because of that truth alone.

There is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less.

He rushes in to save me from myself and my crazy, without hesitation.

My Daddy will always come to get me.

He is mighty to save.

He knows your name.

He knows you- all of you....and loves you just as you are.

Accept the invitation.

Pull up to the table.

Look into your Father's eyes.

When you see that kind of love, it changes you.

You are so adored.

Post/Tweet this #SimpleTruth today:

"There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less."- @JuliePMac #SimpleTruth

"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” 

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."

Isaiah 43:1 NIV

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children."

Romans 8:14-16 NIV

"He Knows My Name"

Spent today in a conversation

In the mirror face to face with

somebody less than perfect

I wouldn't choose me first if

I was looking for a champion

In fact I'd understand if

You picked everyone before me

But that's just not my story

True to who You are

You saw my heart

and made

Something out of nothing

[Chorus:]

I don't need my name in lights

I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name oh, oh,

He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet

I'm meant to be a lion

I'll roar beyond a song

With every moment that I've got

True to who You are

You saw my heart

and made

Something out of nothing

[Chorus]

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,

His forever, held in treasure...

I am loved

I don't need my name in lights...

I'm famous in my Father's eyes...

Facing My Ugly

Life sometimes feels like a blender.

You take all these good, recognizable, individual ingredients, cram them into this container and hit the switch.

What you end up with is usually looks pretty disgusting. 

The kind of thing that evokes the question, “You’re gonna drink that?!?”. 

Yeah, life can be like that sometimes.

My life feels like that now.

My response? 

White knuckle grip something! Nail it all down! Whatever it takes to keep it all in place- yeah, do that!

I realize I need to let go.

Let go of the things I long to control, but cannot. 

But realizing I need to let go leads me to an even more uncomfortable place:

staring in the face of why I want to hold on. 

And it’s ugly.

Kind of like if you were to google spider bite images or boils or goiters or something. 

That kind of ugly.

The ugly you wish you’d never seen.

The ugly you wish you could scrub out of your mind’s eye.

But I’ve seen it now…this ugly that’s in my soul.

And so I must face it.

But unlike those horrific images that haunt behind closed eyes, looking full on at the ugly in our own soul doesn’t have to leave us scarred and scared.

When we see the worst part of ourselves magnified under the lens of the Holy Spirit, it is to bring us forgiveness and freedom.

Forgiveness for attitudes, choices, thoughts, actions, that not only hurt the heart of God, but the hearts of His created.

Freedom to leave those destructive patterns in the past and walk forward in grace.

Clarity is a fickle thing. Sometimes you long for it, beg for it, plead for it…wait for it.

And then it comes.

But the problem with clarity is that you can’t unsee what clarity reveals.

Once you see it, you have to respond.

There is no such thing as a lack of response. 

You are faced with the choice:

obedience or disobedience- cooperate with the Holy Spirit or cooperate with the enemy.

Neither is easy.

But only one gives life.

The one thing we can control is our choice of whom we will trust when life spins out of control. 

And it will.

It’s time to let go and trust that God is who He says He is- not just in everyone else’s life- but in yours, and in mine.

See. Know. Trust. Receive. Live.

God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly…and replace it with life giving grace.

So blend away, life.

Jesus is showing me how to enjoy the ride…even in the face of my ugly.

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

Ezekiel 36:26

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet."

James 4:7-10

Post or Tweet this:

"God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly, and replace it with life giving grace.”-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth 

What are you holding on to?

What in life has you in the blender, dizzy from it all?

I would love to pray for you!

Comment below.

What to Wear

Changing out clothes. 

Let's just say me and "The Great Swap" have a love/hate relationship.

Yes, I'm thankful that I have clothes to swap out(for those of you reprimanding my shallowness in your mind).

But it's the changeover itself that I wish I could just snap my fingers and have completed. Done. Over with.

The sorting, the tossing, the decisions, the piles, the "oh my word, did I actually purchase and wear that" moments...bleh. 

I usually know it's time for "The Great Swap" when I find myself on the edge of or in the midst of a new season standing in my closet lamenting, "I don't have anything to wear!" 

And I dream about filling my closet with anything new and wonderful that I could find to fulfill that gaping hole in my wardrobe.

But we all know in reality, what I am really saying is that every outfit I've tried just doesn't work. 

It's not that I don't have clothes in my closet, I just haven't found the right clothes.

It's that "what to wear" moment that plagues us all.

And every female reading this knows how that affects not just your appearance but your whole mood and attitude! Can I get a witness?!? 

I face that question every day. And I answer it-sometimes better than others. Yikes. (Especially in the 90's- I mean I answered that question so horribly, so often.) 

I wouldn't dare randomly and blindly grab from my closet with just a mere hope that what ends up in hand works for my day and destination ahead.

And yet...I do it every day in the spirit.

My spirit. My heart. My true self. My life. The most important part of who I am...do I ever stop and contemplate the "what to wear" moment that faces me each morning for my spirit? 

In Luke 24:49 Jesus says,
"I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high."

Over and over in scripture we are told to clothe ourselves with Christ Jesus and the character and power found therein: compassion, humility, strength, dignity...and the list goes on. 

So what am I allowing to clothe my life? 

Just as I choose to put on physical clothes each morning, I choose to clothe myself spiritually as well. 

Or even worse, I walk around spiritually naked, exposed, unprepared.

In this passage, Jesus makes a promise: a promise of power. 

Not a power that we can muster on our own, but a power from on high- a supernatural, heavenly power. 

A never-failing, ever present, perfectly portioned power.

But instead of picking up this gorgeous garment that is exactly what I need, I stand in the closet of my mess and pilfer through the ratty torn and tattered pieces and convince myself they I will do. 

They are comfortable. And they don't draw any attention. 

I can just blend in and auto pilot my way through life as usual.

That is the effect of the absence of Holy Spirit clothed power, after all.

So here is the real question:

Why clothe my life with the enemy's reject hand me downs when in reality I am a daughter of the One true King?!?

I have full access to His unlimited power in every area of my life.

Every. Stinkin. One.

Really.

So will I reach for it? 

Will I choose to wear it?

Or will I leave it hanging there in the closet amidst everything else I've tried that doesn't work, doesn't fulfill...and go through my day whining on the inside that all too familiar, 

"I don't have anything to wear!" ? 

You may be like me, standing on the edge of a new season- or even smack dab in the middle of it- wondering what to wear. 

Feeling like nothing works. It's affecting your mood, your attitude, every atmosphere you enter.

It's time for the The Great Swap.

I won't lie, friend. It isn't easy.

There is work involved.

And some moments, it may seem like that pile never ends.

But when you pick up the Holy Spirit's power, you'll find yourself perfectly clothed for the season you are in.

Come rain or shine or heat or cold of life, you will be prepared to face it with strength and joy.

When you outfit from Victory, you no longer have to worry about trying to attain it- it's woven into very the fabric of who you are. 

Changes and choices are never easy.

Clothe yourself with power.

Jesus made a way for you to wear the ultimate power suit. 

Don't settle for rags. He died to give you riches.

What will you clothe yourself with today? 

I choose Jesus. Praying you will, too. 

The Day In-Between

The time in between is the hardest. Death has had it's day. 

Darkness has seemingly overcome. 

And so we wait. 

We wait for the pin prick of dawn's light to pierce the overwhelming black that has tried to consume our hope.

We wait for joy to jump over our sadness.

We wait for life to bloom where death feels so firmly planted. 

This day that doesn't have a name because we can't- and they couldn't-see with their eyes what God was doing, the power He has already released for the victory. 

So we trudge through the in-between.

We wonder where God is, as if He's showing up late. 

Didn't Mary and Martha think the same thing? 

But Lazarus walked out of that grave. 

The victory came.

And another Mary walked early that third morning to try to cover up the stench of death that filled the nostrils of her spirit and mind- expecting to still find death where she had prayed for life.

They had forgotten hope.

They had welcomed despair and ushered hope right out of the waiting room. 

Because the in-between convinces you it is a destination, when in reality, it is only a path. 

Morning will come. 

And when it does, darkness has no say...it MUST flee. 

There is no competition. 

Light. Always. Wins.

And in that moment, the in-between is outed as the the bridge from here to there, the steps on the journey, a room to pass through- a place to be thankful for but never where you set up camp. 

You keep moving forward. 

And morning WILL come.

Wise. Strong. Courageous. Revealing. Empowering. 

Merciful.

...is the morning.

Because ***spoiler alert ***

He Lives. 

New Places. Old Baggage. Big God.

Renewal.
Transformation.
Words I am clinging to- hoping in- as I run hard after the Lord today.
I am deep in battle in the deep places.
In my mind.
Regret looms over me.
Fear of being stuck terrifies me.
Failure taunts me.
And my Enemy knows all too well every play to keep me preoccupied with things...things that are... true, yes.
But my identity? No.
No.
Again...NO!

They may be places I have been, things I have done. Things I should have done. Things I shouldn't have done.
But none of that defines me.
None of that is bigger than the ocean of God's all sufficient, redeeming Grace.
None. of. it.

It is excess baggage that I have to leave behind.

So what am I doing?
I am saying over and over what my spirit knows is TRUE, but my head doesn't want to so easily believe.
I'm throwing out lies(what feels like every second) and clumsily clamoring after, digging for TRUTH with which to replace it.
Readjusting my feet on the Rock.
He hasn't moved. And He won't.
I've got to stop being enticed to jump off, jump over into dangerous places my easily-influenced-by-the-enemy-flesh-focused-mind wants to take me.

I have to choose to revisit only this:
While I was an enemy, Christ so wanted a now and eternal relationship with me that He took my life condemning burden as His own and dealt with that debt with finality and completion.

Because when I revisit that truth...that my God knows ALL the junk, all the filth of who I was and who I am and even who I will be...and loves me still...yes, when I revisit this, what else matters?

If the very worst I can imagine was true, is true or comes true?
It still doesn't change God's perfect love for me.
Still. doesn't. change. it.

So I take one step forward and then the next.
Not because of my ability, my inability, my successes, my failures, my position, their approval, my significance, my insignificance, my gains, my losses, the cheers, the jeers, the accolades, the accusations, the ideals, the imaginations...no.

I breathe deep His grace.
I lock onto His gaze.
And I move forward in the rhythm of His heartbeat...His love.

And somewhere along the way, I will find this mind renewed, transformed.
God glory seeping through these cracks and brokenness called my life.

Feelings cannot drive a life, only threaten to wreck it.
Faith is what takes me forward, delivers me to the anointed places my feet long to walk.
Eyes, mind, heart, emotions, life...on Him.
He has won this war already.
And I choose to Be Still and Know it.

I hope you will, too.

~Julie

It's Official: I Don't Deserve Christmas.

When words you don't expect pour into the mundane moments, you listen. Listen hard. And write fast. 

As "What Child is This?" flooded my ears, the Holy Spirit flooded my heart. 

Fresh Words. 

Fresh perspective. 

Refreshed Spirit.

Maybe it was for you as much as it was for me…wherever you are.

"Wherever You Are"

Come peasant King…and all in-between to own Him.

Enthrone Him with your praise.

All that we are, all that we have, not merely voices, but LIVES we raise!

There is nothing that you have to do to earn this love, this grace.

Simply turn and look. There waiting, you'll see His face.

Breaking into your darkness, there is no need for shame.

Love He pours out over you, Mercy is His name.

He took on our broken form in the most vulnerable way.

The breath of this baby to be sacrificed, in Him all power to save.

Messiah in this tiny form, held in His mother's arms.

And then, He takes on MY wretched sin, allows my humanness to bring Him harm.

He scraped His knees, bumped His head, heart hurt and broken by by life.

He was a baby, a boy, a man- yet still God- allowing all the strife.

So, I cannot see this baby and leave Him in this humble bed.

Because through pain He walked where I should have been and took on death in my stead.

I celebrate His coming, this child breathed of God.

But that night is only the beginning of the story, the path that Grace would trod.

The chubby hands of this baby were the hands pierced for my soul.

The heartbeat felt, skin on a Mother's chest, pumped the blood that was foretold.

Yes, the joy found in those new life moments, made life accessible to me,

Because this baby, 

My Jesus

My Savior

He died to set me free!

How to Scramble Eggs...and Eat Them

Scrambling eggs.

I am pretty sure it's the first thing I ever learned to legitimately cook by myself. So, of course, it was one of the first things that I taught my Caroline to cook as well. 

If you know anything about homeschooling(or if you don't then I am about to be really transparent here), you know that the days can be discombobulated and full of a gazillion things and directions all while learning is supposed to be taking place. 

So much so, that some days, the "cafeteria lady" (ummm...me), gets so busy that she forgets to...errrr...uhhh...fix lunch.

So it's a good thing my 10 year old now knows how to scramble eggs(the one thing this cafeteria lady always keeps in stock) from scratch to finish.

On a recent day that turned out to be one of those days where I considered to fake a potty break just to get to sit down and escape for 2 seconds, but then I remembered they will still find me...yeah....on one of those days, it was no surprise I saw Caroline pull out the pan and get to cooking because she was "starving". 

I proudly watched her do her thing with confidence, responsibility and care. And, as a seasoned homeschooler, I seized the opportunity to mark Home Arts complete for the day, and then, went back to my business.

I am guessing it was about a half-hour later that I was helping Caroline with her Math. 

Having trouble focusing and being rather irritable, she finally says with all the drama a 10 year old girl can muster, 

"I am sooooo hungry!"

I looked at her confused and said, What about your eggs? They didn't fill you up?"

Her big brown eyes widened and shocked at herself, she said, 

"Oh no, Mama! I forgot to eat them!"

Now you see, I taught her how to cook the eggs, I supplied her with the eggs, the pan etc...and she even cooked them...but until she eats them, they will never satisfy the hunger that drove her to them.

And so we "mature" Believers, leaders, teachers, pastors, who have access to the Word, know how to glean from the word, even know how to teach, tell, speak, sing the Word, find ourselves along the road of life, unfocused, irritable...dramatically, and even secretly, lamenting over the pain of our own spiritual starvation.

And all along...we have simply forgotten to eat.

We've prepared, shared, taught, counseled, attended, listened, but we have not eaten.

When we don't eat, we don't receive nourishment. 

And without nourishment, there will be no growth.

The grocer, the chef, the server, the dishwasher: they all have to put fork to mouth at some point, or they will never be fed. 

Being in the presence of the meal is not enough.

The nutrients that quiet the hunger are only released, only give life, when they are consumed.

Don't forget to eat.

Being in the presence of spiritual things, the rituals of religion...these things are not enough.

Take.

Eat.

Be nourished.

Let's stop starving in the presence of the banquet table of The Lord.

So go ahead...scramble those eggs...just don't forgot to eat them.

"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." (Isaiah 55:2 ESV)

A Thick Chick Gets Schooled

Yes, I homeschool...but sometimes I get schooled by my kids.

Sunday morning, rushed and scattered as I attempt to get myself and everyone else out the door, I stopped for my "I stay awake and others stay alive" cup of coffee. 

My 12 year old son, Jonathan, came and stood beside me, checking out my ear with his laser pointer. Why, you ask? Because he had apparently "never looked in an ear with this thing before". 

Once bored with that(a staggering 10 seconds later), he said, 

"Alright Mama, get ready for laser surgery."

Playing along, I quickly retorted, "Oooohhh good. Make sure you get right here and right here.", gesturing towards my hips and rear.

He looked at me with such a truly sad, rather appalled and angry expression, and released this arrow of truth to my spirit:

"Mama, 

why are you being so mean to yourself?"

I didn't honestly know how to respond.

His words left me convicted and speechless.

Mostly because I didn't have a valid answer.

There is no good reason.

I make daily choices to live an active, healthy lifestyle, to be strong and fit. 

But this other...well...these are just things I have always said...cloaking my own deep seeded dissatisfaction and self loathe in humor of some sort.

But...no one has ever really called me out on it in this way- until now.

And I am quite certain I am not alone.

So I will do for you what my 12 year old did for me:

Why are YOU being so mean to yourself?

Sadly, if you're like me, you've become desensitized to your own self criticism- 

barely even hearing the condemnation that comes out of your mouth, makes its home in your thought life...and as a result strikes dangerous blows to your soul. 

It isn't harmless, humorous, or humble.

It's hateful.

There is nothing wrong with striving towards excellence in all that you are or all that you do: family, education, health, fitness, job, and the list goes on...

But there is everything wrong with abusing God's most valued creation in the attempt to get there: you.

You're valuable not because of all that you were, are, or could be. 

No, you are valuable because HE has determined your worth! 

Striving to be better is futile. Striving to know Jesus? Empowering! 

Because here is the amazing part:

He knows you best...and He still loves you the most.

Hard to comprehend? I know.

Hard to believe? I know.

Hard to let go of old patterns? Heck yeah, I know! 

But can you imagine with me for a moment, your Heavenly Father looking with such adoration at His created one, as Love holds your face in His hands, and with piercing simplicity says, 

"Why? Why are you being so mean to yourself?"

So...I grab grace yet again, asking Him to take all of me and replace it with all of Him...believing....believing that regardless of the image staring back at me in my mirror this truth remains:

what I may see as a nothing, God created for a something.

Regardless of where you are, or even where you aren't: stop being mean to yourself.

Choose His perspective.

Your Creator makes no mistakes...let Him sculpt the Masterpiece. 

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; 

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something."

Psalm 139:13-16 MSG

#stopbeingmean

#grace 

#Psalm139