The Ending Place

Have you ever thought backwards? 

Have you ever taken the time to mentally stand at the end of your journey- parenting, homeschooling, career, fitness...and the list goes on- and asked,

"What do I want to be able to say of the journey when I stand in this ending place?"

It isn't easy. 

Because it reminds us that day WILL come. 

I recently did this for our home educating journey. 

Why? Because there are days I need to remember what I want my future self to say, so my present self will make decisions and keep her emotions in line with the ending place truth I want to see. 

I keep them ever before me. 

As I read them today, I realized that maybe you could use some of the truth tucked inside these Spirit words for your journey? 

Your journey hasn't ended yet...but it will. 

What do you want to say in that place of journey's end? 

Praying these words spur you to think backwards from the ending place so you are powerfully fueled for your today place:

"At the end of this journey:  There will not be perfection...there will be beauty in every broken moment. We are not seeking to create a product...we long to disciple a person. We will look back and see that we got it wrong A LOT- but that when we surrendered to our Savior, HE always made it right. When it is all said and done, may we always remember that where intimacy with Jesus is watered, true intelligence always flourishes. 

We loved. 

We laughed. 

We found Grace...and learned  a whole lot along the way." 

-Julie McNeely, Romans 12 Academy, Mama to 3, Surrendered to the One.

New Places. Old Baggage. Big God.

Renewal.
Transformation.
Words I am clinging to- hoping in- as I run hard after the Lord today.
I am deep in battle in the deep places.
In my mind.
Regret looms over me.
Fear of being stuck terrifies me.
Failure taunts me.
And my Enemy knows all too well every play to keep me preoccupied with things...things that are... true, yes.
But my identity? No.
No.
Again...NO!

They may be places I have been, things I have done. Things I should have done. Things I shouldn't have done.
But none of that defines me.
None of that is bigger than the ocean of God's all sufficient, redeeming Grace.
None. of. it.

It is excess baggage that I have to leave behind.

So what am I doing?
I am saying over and over what my spirit knows is TRUE, but my head doesn't want to so easily believe.
I'm throwing out lies(what feels like every second) and clumsily clamoring after, digging for TRUTH with which to replace it.
Readjusting my feet on the Rock.
He hasn't moved. And He won't.
I've got to stop being enticed to jump off, jump over into dangerous places my easily-influenced-by-the-enemy-flesh-focused-mind wants to take me.

I have to choose to revisit only this:
While I was an enemy, Christ so wanted a now and eternal relationship with me that He took my life condemning burden as His own and dealt with that debt with finality and completion.

Because when I revisit that truth...that my God knows ALL the junk, all the filth of who I was and who I am and even who I will be...and loves me still...yes, when I revisit this, what else matters?

If the very worst I can imagine was true, is true or comes true?
It still doesn't change God's perfect love for me.
Still. doesn't. change. it.

So I take one step forward and then the next.
Not because of my ability, my inability, my successes, my failures, my position, their approval, my significance, my insignificance, my gains, my losses, the cheers, the jeers, the accolades, the accusations, the ideals, the imaginations...no.

I breathe deep His grace.
I lock onto His gaze.
And I move forward in the rhythm of His heartbeat...His love.

And somewhere along the way, I will find this mind renewed, transformed.
God glory seeping through these cracks and brokenness called my life.

Feelings cannot drive a life, only threaten to wreck it.
Faith is what takes me forward, delivers me to the anointed places my feet long to walk.
Eyes, mind, heart, emotions, life...on Him.
He has won this war already.
And I choose to Be Still and Know it.

I hope you will, too.

~Julie

How to Scramble Eggs...and Eat Them

Scrambling eggs.

I am pretty sure it's the first thing I ever learned to legitimately cook by myself. So, of course, it was one of the first things that I taught my Caroline to cook as well. 

If you know anything about homeschooling(or if you don't then I am about to be really transparent here), you know that the days can be discombobulated and full of a gazillion things and directions all while learning is supposed to be taking place. 

So much so, that some days, the "cafeteria lady" (ummm...me), gets so busy that she forgets to...errrr...uhhh...fix lunch.

So it's a good thing my 10 year old now knows how to scramble eggs(the one thing this cafeteria lady always keeps in stock) from scratch to finish.

On a recent day that turned out to be one of those days where I considered to fake a potty break just to get to sit down and escape for 2 seconds, but then I remembered they will still find me...yeah....on one of those days, it was no surprise I saw Caroline pull out the pan and get to cooking because she was "starving". 

I proudly watched her do her thing with confidence, responsibility and care. And, as a seasoned homeschooler, I seized the opportunity to mark Home Arts complete for the day, and then, went back to my business.

I am guessing it was about a half-hour later that I was helping Caroline with her Math. 

Having trouble focusing and being rather irritable, she finally says with all the drama a 10 year old girl can muster, 

"I am sooooo hungry!"

I looked at her confused and said, What about your eggs? They didn't fill you up?"

Her big brown eyes widened and shocked at herself, she said, 

"Oh no, Mama! I forgot to eat them!"

Now you see, I taught her how to cook the eggs, I supplied her with the eggs, the pan etc...and she even cooked them...but until she eats them, they will never satisfy the hunger that drove her to them.

And so we "mature" Believers, leaders, teachers, pastors, who have access to the Word, know how to glean from the word, even know how to teach, tell, speak, sing the Word, find ourselves along the road of life, unfocused, irritable...dramatically, and even secretly, lamenting over the pain of our own spiritual starvation.

And all along...we have simply forgotten to eat.

We've prepared, shared, taught, counseled, attended, listened, but we have not eaten.

When we don't eat, we don't receive nourishment. 

And without nourishment, there will be no growth.

The grocer, the chef, the server, the dishwasher: they all have to put fork to mouth at some point, or they will never be fed. 

Being in the presence of the meal is not enough.

The nutrients that quiet the hunger are only released, only give life, when they are consumed.

Don't forget to eat.

Being in the presence of spiritual things, the rituals of religion...these things are not enough.

Take.

Eat.

Be nourished.

Let's stop starving in the presence of the banquet table of The Lord.

So go ahead...scramble those eggs...just don't forgot to eat them.

"Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food." (Isaiah 55:2 ESV)