Facing My Ugly

Life sometimes feels like a blender.

You take all these good, recognizable, individual ingredients, cram them into this container and hit the switch.

What you end up with is usually looks pretty disgusting. 

The kind of thing that evokes the question, “You’re gonna drink that?!?”. 

Yeah, life can be like that sometimes.

My life feels like that now.

My response? 

White knuckle grip something! Nail it all down! Whatever it takes to keep it all in place- yeah, do that!

I realize I need to let go.

Let go of the things I long to control, but cannot. 

But realizing I need to let go leads me to an even more uncomfortable place:

staring in the face of why I want to hold on. 

And it’s ugly.

Kind of like if you were to google spider bite images or boils or goiters or something. 

That kind of ugly.

The ugly you wish you’d never seen.

The ugly you wish you could scrub out of your mind’s eye.

But I’ve seen it now…this ugly that’s in my soul.

And so I must face it.

But unlike those horrific images that haunt behind closed eyes, looking full on at the ugly in our own soul doesn’t have to leave us scarred and scared.

When we see the worst part of ourselves magnified under the lens of the Holy Spirit, it is to bring us forgiveness and freedom.

Forgiveness for attitudes, choices, thoughts, actions, that not only hurt the heart of God, but the hearts of His created.

Freedom to leave those destructive patterns in the past and walk forward in grace.

Clarity is a fickle thing. Sometimes you long for it, beg for it, plead for it…wait for it.

And then it comes.

But the problem with clarity is that you can’t unsee what clarity reveals.

Once you see it, you have to respond.

There is no such thing as a lack of response. 

You are faced with the choice:

obedience or disobedience- cooperate with the Holy Spirit or cooperate with the enemy.

Neither is easy.

But only one gives life.

The one thing we can control is our choice of whom we will trust when life spins out of control. 

And it will.

It’s time to let go and trust that God is who He says He is- not just in everyone else’s life- but in yours, and in mine.

See. Know. Trust. Receive. Live.

God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly…and replace it with life giving grace.

So blend away, life.

Jesus is showing me how to enjoy the ride…even in the face of my ugly.

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

Ezekiel 36:26

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet."

James 4:7-10

Post or Tweet this:

"God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly, and replace it with life giving grace.”-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth 

What are you holding on to?

What in life has you in the blender, dizzy from it all?

I would love to pray for you!

Comment below.

Color Me Grace

I am not sure why I didn't believe...or maybe I simply chose to forget.
Either way, my hands are now purple, orange, and red.
Apparently when the directions say wear gloves, and they provide them in the pack of tie dye, you should actually put them on your hands.
Who knew?!?

So now I look as through I slaughtered something with my bare hands while mixing raspberries and Tang.
Nice.

Every time I look down, move my hands, reach for something....all I see are the stains.
"What will people think when they see theses nasty hands?"
"Is it weird to wear gloves in 90 degree weather?"
Momentary panic can lead to absurdity!

My hubby tried to encourage me saying it will wear off, and he is right it, probably will...but until then-
I am stained.

And some things are just like that...they leave a residue that is not easily removed.

It all starts as fun and games, but then, you see the stain it has left on your life, and it's not so innocent anymore.
We scrub, we soak in vain.

Enter grace.

In those moments that all we see are the screaming purples, oranges, and reds of our poor choices, His grace is available to quiet our panic when we see the reality of sin tattooed on our lives.

But this...THIS is why Jesus died.
To bring calm in these moments that we must look our humanity in the face.
To cover my sin stain with His cleansing blood.
To take this skin marred by the world and the results of my own choices, and replace it with His righteousness.

All cover-up tactics, all of the worry about what others will think- it can never help me maintain the appearance of holiness.
It only holds me captive.

I am blinded by my mess.

Consumed by that which I cannot clean, rather than by the only One who can bring the freedom of true cleansing.

But that is why Grace...
Why grace is amazing.
Why grace is all sufficient.
Why grace is greater than all my sin.
Why grace is the gift that never ends.
Why grace is for me....
because without it,
I am stained.

And when I find myself, staring once again at the filthy residue of my own sin choices, I will run to this grace- His love beyond compare- and know Jesus, in all His cleansing power, is ready to stand in my place...if only I will lift my hands in surrender.

Because after all...
"What can wash away my sin?
NOTHING but the blood of Jesus!"

So, forget purples, oranges, reds...
Color me GRACE.

"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."
John 1:16 ESV

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
1 John 1:7 ESV

"For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace."
Romans 6:14 ESV

"But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
James 4:6 ESV

"Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life..."
Psalm 51:7 MSG