My Itty Bitty Life

Ambassador. 

It's a huge assignment. 

And sometimes I feel so small for the task. 

But Jesus didn't think so: He died and rose again for me to have it. 

He absolutely believes that I am enough for every single task, every single encounter, every single valley I enter and every single mountain I am called to scale to make His name known. 

Why? 

Not because of any good or any power that I alone possess. No. 

It's because He is enough in me. 

When I fully embrace the One the world so desperately needs to know, that is when I so beautifully make Him known. 

Not because I am asking the world to look at me, but because I am so locked in on Him they can't help but see the One who has captured my gaze.

I can only truly represent a heart I fully know. 

That is when I become an ambassador for Christ. 

So today, even when I feel like the tiny and powerless, I will focus my spirit on the only One with power to make me big and bold. He will take my itty bitty and do great big things as I stand surrendered. 

What will my life say about Who He is today? 

 #SimpleTruth to power your day, you life and connect others to His tender grace.

~@JuliePMac 

The Unexpected

It hit me a while back. 

One of those deep thought moments where truth just pierces and you see what you couldn't see when you had to take that first step of faith that scared you and almost paralyzed you.

It hit me when I was siting on a bus on a once and a lifetime trip that had all come about because of something I never expected. 

I never expected to be diagnosed with major health issues. 

I never expected to try all the "right" things and still end up living in daily pain that no one even really knew about or understood. 

I never expected for a quick message to turn into the path to pain free. 

I never expected on that path to find the opportunity to share this hope with others. 

I never expected to be reduced to tears over stories of success and renewed health. 

I never expected so many doors of ministry to open simply because I shared my struggle. 

I never expected to be able to speak the love and life of Jesus into so many people's circumstances. 

I never expected financial blessing and freedom. 

I never expected any of it. 

Why? 

Because I was living from my limited expectations instead of from my LIMITLESS God. 

I was dreaming from a safe place. 

I was compartmentalizing my life, unable to see the possibilities of where heaven meets earth...where everything I have to offer is surrendered to Him in every place, in every situation. 

My mission is to lay down MY mission and take up HIS in any and every opportunity He places before me. 

Worship.

Writing.

Speaking.

Plexus.

Health.

All of these are pieces of my dream- glimpses of who I am- who HE created me to be. 

And they are all His.

I long to be a person that allows the Lord to loose heaven through me. 

I never expected God to use something that I hadn't even considered. 

But He did. 

And I am thankful I get to share that with others. 

One year ago He prompted me to step out in scary faith and bare my soul. 

It's been a journey of growth that has stretched me in so many ways.

And I wouldn't trade it for a thing. 

I know it's only just begun. 

The only way to limit less in life is to live LIMITLESS in CHRIST!! 

#SimpleTruth for your day, your week, your year...life! :) 

Herder to Hero: Finding Purpose in the Everyday

Sometimes we want the grand purpose of a giant slayer when Jesus is asking us to be a faithful sandwich deliverer and sheep herder. 

David was often called from his sheep pen to the battlefield...but it was only to take the soldiers their sandwiches. His dad sent him to feed the fighters and bring back, not his own amazing story, but the story of his brothers. 

David lived his life serving sheep, slaying animals, satisfying hunger, and telling other people's stories. 

Instead of getting to stay where all the action was, "David went back and forth", the Bible says. 

Maybe we can all relate to that a little? 

Stuck in the back and forth. Living what feels like the movie "Ground Hog Day", listening to stories all around us, but so painfully aware we are never moving forward in our own. 

Before David was a hero, he was a herder. But it was that day in and day out herding that prepared him for the day he was to be a hero. 

When we are longing for some glorious purpose on a well manicured platform, what we need to understand is that it may show up as a dirty, screaming giant in the middle of your daily delivery. 

Will we be positioned?

Will we be ready? 

Will we consider it someone else's problem? 

Will we have tended our stinky sheep so faithfully that we are confident to take on the giant slaying?

I want to answer yes. 

But some days, I think I am so busy complaining about my back and forth, that I never even see the great big purpose he sends into my path. 

Our faithfulness in the back and forth positions us to be propelled into the heart of our purpose. 

When you have trusted God to fight for you and be with you in your behind the scenes battles, you won't run from that looming giant out in front of the world...you will run TO it. 

You will wonder why everyone else is running away. 

You will stand in confidence that God is bigger than that giant in the path of your purpose...because you know He put it there to propel and prepare you for whatever is next. 

Just like with David, people may not understand your willingness to take on the giant...but, they didn't see the fights you've already come through. 

You can say with boldness, 

“The LORD who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” 

1 Samuel 17:37 

The herder became a hero because he trusted in Him. 

The Lord who rescues is the Lord who redeems. 

He rescues you in the everyday to redeem you for that some day. 

That day your purpose looms large and you know for a fact you are beaten and unable so you consider running back to the sheep pen and sandwich delivery. But then, you stop listening to everyone scream in fear and discount your contribution and you start listening to the One who has assured your victory because HE is more than able!! 

Don't resent your days in the sheep pen...its preparing you for the giant that marks the path of your purpose. 

#SimpleTruth for your everyday as you wait for that some day. 

No More Pack Mule

By myself at a random table in a Starbucks post dropping off my kids at school. 

That statement in itself is weird. 

Me? By myself? Weird. 

Kids at school? Weird. 

Me at Starbucks? Ok...that's pretty normal.

But I feel way out of my skin eating breakfast and drinking a fancy flat white- instead of my plain old coffee- and no one across from me at the table. 

I don't quite know what to do with all this- the here and the not here. 

I am caught thinking about all I want to do and then, all I don't want to stop doing. 

And then the Spirit whispers deep: 

In order to pick something up, you have to lay something down. 

You cannot carry all the things. 

When my kids were small, my father in law always called me a pack mule. Why? Because every time he saw me, I was carrying all the things. 

From a kid to diaper bags to Batman to trash. Times 3. 

I carried it all. 

Carry all the things. 

But that can't last forever. 

Kids grow, bags shrink, Batman gets lost, and well...they still give me their trash. 

But the truth is, we can only carry certain loads in life for a season.

And then it's time to set one thing down to pick another up. 

Better still? 

We set the good things down to pick the God things up. 

The load we have been used to carrying becomes too familiar. We tell someone wanting to help, "No don't grab anything! I've got it balanced. If you take one thing it will all come tumbling down." 

And maybe there are parts of what you're carrying that God wants you to keep. 

But maybe what's in my hands isn't meant for me to carry? 

Maybe someone else is standing there empty handed because I am carrying the good thing that's supposed to be their God thing. 

I am not meant to carry all the things. 

I am meant to carry my God things. 

Because that load is light. 

It may not be easy, but it is in proportion to the strength He has released for me to carry it. 

So I am sitting here, letting go and laying down what isn't mine to carry. Not knowing what it all looks like to pick up what He has put in front of me. 

But...

I know it's a God sized load that I was designed to carry. 

There are a lot of good things that I will have to lay down. 

But the God things can't be left behind. 

And you have to lay something down to pick something up. 

I won't be grabbing all the things, but I will be holding His things...and that is a load I can bear. 

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

#SimpleTruth 

#First5App

The Leaving: Hope for a Mama's Heart

It's an unspoken mommy truth: one day they will leave.

This baby in your arms that you have waited on, prayed for, dreamed of, will one day drive away into their own dreams.

And so we push that truth down and blink away tears and keep that little unspoken dammed up behind our mommy wall so we can live the day.

Not because we wish it away or believe we can delay it, but simply because the thought of living without your heart seems paralyzingly impossible.

When they seek you out for a hug, advice, snuggles, quality time...the unspoken flashes before you, and you linger in that moment to help stand on your feet in the soon to come.

But how did we even get here? How are these little feet even walking, running, driving, going out into this big world without us holding those stubby little fingers in ours?

How did time sneak up on us?

No one tells you in those endless, sleepless nights of vomit and nightmares that it is inching closer. 

No one tells you in the sibling squabbles and slamming doors that it's closing in on the horizon.

When we wish any of it away, we move past the very moments that unite us in the days beyond the leaving. 

Every ache, every tear, every fight, every stumble are opportunities for roots to dig deeper, so they can fly higher.

Every laugh, every accolade, every face to face moment, every I love you, wire us for a lifetime of connection that distance cannot undo.

So yes, our hearts will ache with love and pride that swell as they stand up in who they are, this grown up human they are destined to be. 

And yes, that unspoken truth behind that wall in the depths of our mama hearts may even burst and result in a massive flood of tears and emotion.

But it isn't because we haven't known it was coming- it's because we didn't see how quickly it was approaching. 

Mommies know their babies will leave.

But we breathe deep because our babies know the truth we have been imprinting on their hearts every moment before this leaving one: they can always come back. 

Your baby may walk out of your door, they can never walk out of your heart.

Release the leaving and hold onto that mommy truth. 

#SimpleTruth 

I Know You, Mom.

I know you, mom.

I know you feel like you are never enough.

I know you feel like you never hit the mark.

I know you because I know me.

There are no forms or formulas. 

No legitimate handbooks for the myriad of scenarios you face. 

Just you, feeling around in the dark, hoping that you don't break your neck or strangle somebody else's on any given day dealing with cranky little ones to mouthy bigger ones. 

I know you, mom.

I know you wake up each morning searching for how you can do it all with excellence, and then lie down each night only able to see where you did not.

I know you want to sear moments into your mind, into the mind of your child, but fear that you're both only going to remember all the wrong ones.

I know you go to work and feel like you've handed your heart over to the world.

I know you stay at home and feel like you are handing your children a worn out, used up version of the person you long to be.

I know you stand peering into their grown up lives, wanting to hand them nuggets of wisdom that they don't think they need.

I know you, mom.

I know you never stop worrying about what you haven't done and never stop wishing you could undo some of what you have.

I know you sit in the middle of the longest of days and wonder how you can do this.

I know you think about the short time you have left with them close by and try to find a way to breathe through the panic.

I know you sit lonely and worry and pray for the choices they are now making for themselves.

I know you, mom.

I know you are covered in baby food and Cheerios hoping for a shower this week.

I know you are surrounded by a Lego minefield wondering if your house will ever be clean again.

I know you are confined to your van taxi on countless afternoons.

I know you are waiting on the phone call from the kid who was supposed to call when they got there.

I know you are cooking meals and offering to babysit, because no matter where they are in life, your heart is never uninvolved. 

I know you, mom.

I know you love.

I know you dream. 

I know you hope.

I know you expect.

But I also know you hurt.

I know you despair.

I know you worry.

I know you ache.

I know you break.

But those shattered pieces? 

You are not the glue that holds it all together.

It is the Grace of Jesus.

In every place, mom, He knows you.

In every place, mom, He equips you.

In every place, mom, He empowers you.

In every place, mom, He is WITH you.

Wherever you are, when you want to be precisely what your child needs, press into the heart of the Father.

It isn't your perfection they need...it's your pursuit of Jesus.

So keep showing them.

Show them real.

Show them love.

Show them forgiveness.

Show them grace.

Show them, mom.

Laugh at your crazy and you won't lose it at theirs.

Unashamedly make time to breathe, so you can find peace in the pieces.

Respond to mama guilt by choosing to give thanks.

Quiet regret with small intentional moments today.

Live your days, mom.

Live your days with praise that you had breath to do it, and His ever-present grace to flood where you were less than.

Because HE is greater than. 

He is greater than your biggest fear, mom.

Even in that panic thought that rises in the night, He is greater than.

Live your days with His greater than, mom.

I know you.

I know you are thinking it would be nice.

I know you are thinking you can't.

I know you are inspired but feel inadequate.

I know you, mom.

But I know Him.

I know He says He will make your strength perfect. (Psalm 18:32)

I know He says He will be faithful to do what He has called you to.(1 Thessalonians 5:24)

I know He says nothing is impossible with Him.(Luke 1:37)

I know Him, mom.

And He knows you.

"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)

I know you, mom.

I know you are chosen, beautifully broken, with power to shape the next generation and courage to do it with grace.

And I know you will.

Take heart, mom. 

I know you: 

YOU are a world changer powered by Grace.

Assuming the Normal...blah, blah, blah.

It was a normal, routine night in our household. Quiet had began to blanket the rooms with the sleepiness of bedtime while Jarrett and I step into our respective roles, as if on autopilot. Everyone had been gearing down for the night by reading in bed, some willingly, some...not so much.
I went to Jonathan to give him his arms-out-from-under-the-cover hug and hand squeezes goodnight. But, I had a sense he wanted me to linger. As I stood up to tell him goodnight and that I love him, I saw for sure in his eyes thoughts that longed to climb out, words that needed to be said.
"What is it buddy?" I asked, expecting the typical conversation of waking up and wondering if it's ok for him to come get me.
I assumed too little.
He broke his silence, "Mama, I started reading that book Who Is John F. Kennedy?."
"That's good!", I said to my non-lover of reading, a little surprised by the brevity of the statement and wondering if there was more.
I rubbed his back a little more and then he rolled over and looked up at me seriously and urgently.
"Mama", he said through 11 year old efforts to disguise a voice beginning to quiver, "in that book it was saying how his mom was never really there for him because she would go on these fashion trips and visit Europe all the time and stuff."
"Oh that's sad." I interrupted, poised to pounce on this teachable moment that presented itself.
He quickly stopped me from rambling with that thought.
"Yeah I know, I know...and it just got me to thinkin'... It got me to thinkin how you are ALWAYS there for me...and...and...", through tears he continued, "I just wanna say thank you. I love you, Mama."

Speechless.

I fumbled through the flood of tears in my throat, "Jonathan, you just filled my heart full buddy. I love you....and I wouldn't miss a second."

To think, I could've missed that moment because I was too stuck in going through the motions, of walking zombie like through the monotony of my routine!
I expected the normal.
I anticipated so little.
I underestimated the gift because I was looking past it to the next thing.

You never know what joy is in store for you right where you are, especially if you never stop to see it.

Don't let the routine usurp the glorious in your life and don't let opportunities pass you by for you to break others out of that routine by being the bearer His glory in their life.

You and I were designed to be difference makers...and to readily expect and anticipate our Great God to make a difference IN us and THROUGH us.

Whose heart will you choose to fill?

Mamas and Daddys...let it start with us.
Be present.
Be His.
Be the difference maker in your child's life.
Moments like these will make you eternally glad that did.


"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
(Matthew 5:14, 16 ESV)