When Reality is Rough

*** I am currently walking through the book of John with Proverbs31 ministries using the First 5 App. 

This post is part of what the Holy Spirit is teaching me and revealing to me personally as I dig into this part of His Word. 

Jump into this study with me by going to www.first5.org or downloading the app for your device.***

John 6: Jesus feeds the five thousand; Jesus walks on water. 

This chapter is full of miracles but it's also full of moments that can sometimes get glossed over because of their magnitude. I can't help but think about the people IN those moments, witnessing those miracles. These were real problems, real hunger, real storms, real fear, real questions, real uncertainty. Those stories we read and summarize and throw into sentences were their realities. 

And when you are in the middle of your reality, believing for a miracle isn't as easy as reading ahead a few verses- because when it's YOUR reality, you can't read past the verse you're in; you can only believe that Jesus has already perfectly written it. 

So today it's taking everything I have to put my pen down and let Jesus write the miraculous in the current reality of my life verses. Instead of pining over all the drafts cluttering my mind and my soul, I am using every ounce of who I am to draw close to the Author and Perfector of my faith. 

I can be like Philip who could not see the way so decided it was impossible, or be like Andrew who even though he didn't see how, chose to go to Jesus and surrender what they had. 

What I have today doesn't feel like a lot, or look like a lot, but Jesus is my abundance. He is the Multiplier. He is the Miracle Worker. He is the Way Maker. He is the Storm Calmer. 

I'm inviting Jesus into my reality. He's already written the miracle- I just have to surrender the pen and believe the Author. 

That's my prayer for you, too.

~Julie 

When You Are GIVE.SLAP.OUT.

I hear the voice screaming:

"Give in! Give up!"

Why? Because I'm 

GIVE.SLAP.OUT.

Who's been there? Who is there? I know we all need to raise our hands on this one. 

From endless demands, to overloaded schedules, to impossible requirements...and the list goes on. 

We want to stop the crazy but we don't know how. We want to escape the hard because we have failed to bring the change we want to see. 

But you and I? 

We have a choice. 

Just because that voice is screaming, it doesn't mean its message is TRUTH. 

You and I? 

We can choose to stand up under that lie...that temptation to RUN FOR THE EVER LOVIN' HILLS. 

Because JESUS...He's been there. 

And JESUS? 

He's got a trade for you: 
Your heavy burden for His fullness of Joy- right smack dab in the middle of whatever crazy you're in. 

He wants to carry that weight. 

He has been tempted and has walked through it perfectly...so you don't have to crumble trying to.

Don't give in my friend. 

Don't give up.

GIVE IT OVER to God. 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” 

Matthew 11:28-30

"This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." 

Hebrews 4:15-16

Breakfast with Daddy

"I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name"

-"He Knows My Name"

 by Franscesca Batistelli. Listen here.

(full lyrics at end of post)

He woke me up with a phone call. 

It was my daddy.

He asked what I was doing at the moment, then he told me he was taking me to breakfast.

Because that is the way my daddy loves- on purpose and without hesitation.

And I needed that kind of love that rushes in and saves me from myself and my crazy.

I was sinking in the quick sand of life and listening to lies that screamed loud to define me.

And my daddy came to get me.

It's the kind of love that reaches back to where he sees me walking and loves me in that place. 

Not because of how I am walking through it, not in spite of my walking in that place. 

No, he loves me completely separate of any place he happens to find me wandering.

He just loves me.

I am his child. 

There is no accomplishment that changes that. There is no failure that taints that. There is no thing I can do to strengthen that truth. 

It simply is.

He loves me when I see clearly, he loves me when I walk blindly towards the cliffs of life.

He loves me when I soar on the heights of who I am, he loves me when I wallow in the muck of the worst of me.

He just loves me.

He loves me...and when he sees the world spewing lies all around me, he pulls me out of those moments and I can look into his eyes and I am just his little girl, wholly and completely loved, even as I sit a mess at the breakfast table.

And so my earthly daddy showed me the truth of my Heavenly Father on a random Tuesday morning of this life. 

That I can pull up a mess to the table He spreads before me and know I am loved.

Not because of what I have or haven't done...but just simply because of this truth: I am His child.

I am adored because of that truth alone.

There is nothing I can do to make Him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less.

He rushes in to save me from myself and my crazy, without hesitation.

My Daddy will always come to get me.

He is mighty to save.

He knows your name.

He knows you- all of you....and loves you just as you are.

Accept the invitation.

Pull up to the table.

Look into your Father's eyes.

When you see that kind of love, it changes you.

You are so adored.

Post/Tweet this #SimpleTruth today:

"There is nothing I can do to make God love me more and there is nothing I can do to make Him love me less."- @JuliePMac #SimpleTruth

"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” 

Zephaniah 3:17 NLT

"But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine."

Isaiah 43:1 NIV

"For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children."

Romans 8:14-16 NIV

"He Knows My Name"

Spent today in a conversation

In the mirror face to face with

somebody less than perfect

I wouldn't choose me first if

I was looking for a champion

In fact I'd understand if

You picked everyone before me

But that's just not my story

True to who You are

You saw my heart

and made

Something out of nothing

[Chorus:]

I don't need my name in lights

I'm famous in my Father's eyes

Make no mistake

He knows my name

I'm not living for applause

I'm already so adored

It's all His stage

He knows my name oh, oh,

He knows my name oh, oh

I'm not meant to just stay quiet

I'm meant to be a lion

I'll roar beyond a song

With every moment that I've got

True to who You are

You saw my heart

and made

Something out of nothing

[Chorus]

He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,

His forever, held in treasure...

I am loved

I don't need my name in lights...

I'm famous in my Father's eyes...

Facing My Ugly

Life sometimes feels like a blender.

You take all these good, recognizable, individual ingredients, cram them into this container and hit the switch.

What you end up with is usually looks pretty disgusting. 

The kind of thing that evokes the question, “You’re gonna drink that?!?”. 

Yeah, life can be like that sometimes.

My life feels like that now.

My response? 

White knuckle grip something! Nail it all down! Whatever it takes to keep it all in place- yeah, do that!

I realize I need to let go.

Let go of the things I long to control, but cannot. 

But realizing I need to let go leads me to an even more uncomfortable place:

staring in the face of why I want to hold on. 

And it’s ugly.

Kind of like if you were to google spider bite images or boils or goiters or something. 

That kind of ugly.

The ugly you wish you’d never seen.

The ugly you wish you could scrub out of your mind’s eye.

But I’ve seen it now…this ugly that’s in my soul.

And so I must face it.

But unlike those horrific images that haunt behind closed eyes, looking full on at the ugly in our own soul doesn’t have to leave us scarred and scared.

When we see the worst part of ourselves magnified under the lens of the Holy Spirit, it is to bring us forgiveness and freedom.

Forgiveness for attitudes, choices, thoughts, actions, that not only hurt the heart of God, but the hearts of His created.

Freedom to leave those destructive patterns in the past and walk forward in grace.

Clarity is a fickle thing. Sometimes you long for it, beg for it, plead for it…wait for it.

And then it comes.

But the problem with clarity is that you can’t unsee what clarity reveals.

Once you see it, you have to respond.

There is no such thing as a lack of response. 

You are faced with the choice:

obedience or disobedience- cooperate with the Holy Spirit or cooperate with the enemy.

Neither is easy.

But only one gives life.

The one thing we can control is our choice of whom we will trust when life spins out of control. 

And it will.

It’s time to let go and trust that God is who He says He is- not just in everyone else’s life- but in yours, and in mine.

See. Know. Trust. Receive. Live.

God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly…and replace it with life giving grace.

So blend away, life.

Jesus is showing me how to enjoy the ride…even in the face of my ugly.

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

Ezekiel 36:26

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet."

James 4:7-10

Post or Tweet this:

"God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly, and replace it with life giving grace.”-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth 

What are you holding on to?

What in life has you in the blender, dizzy from it all?

I would love to pray for you!

Comment below.

Time for New Perspectacles

Some days I just want to close my eyes.

Just close my eyes and escape back to the comfort of my bed, covers pulled overhead.

The view of my life seems safer there.

I can shout at circumstances to go away, without ever looking them in the eye.

I can even pretend they aren’t there.

But that doesn’t mean they go away…or that they get smaller or untangled.

Worst of all, it usually makes them bigger than ever in my mind.

My perspective has been whittled down to the sliver of light piercing into the spot of darkness I have chosen to lie down in.

Comfortably miserable in the familiar.

Maybe you have been there.

Maybe you are there.

Maybe you, like me, know what it’s like to live life from behind the covers in your life.

Maybe you, too, have had all the feelings about all the things.

Maybe you feel like you are losing the ability to truly see.

We are in need of new perspectacles.

God given perspectacles that open my eyes to the purpose, the plan, the power for the moments I am blindly stumbling through.

The funny thing about any glasses that correct my vision, is that they don’t just jump on my face. 

I have to pick them up, and put them on- day in and day out.

That’s why it isn’t enough to simply talk about a new perspective.

It feels elusive and slippery. 

It is something I cannot hold, so I rationalize it is something I cannot have.

You and I?

We have to look at what we are holding on to, feel it and acknowledge it in our hands and set it down. 

We have to take the time, make the effort to exchange our obstacles for perspectacles.

Obstacles of fear, worry, insecurity, pain, jealousy, bitterness- they all blind us to the truth.

This kind of skewed vision leads to a life dictated by circumstance rather than His Promises.

But God will replace your obstacles with perspectacles.

You have to put on your God given perspectacles, not just so can see the way, but so you can see the One.

These perspectacles don’t merely give you sight.
They focus the eyes of your heart on His hope, the way out of this dark you’re sitting in.

He doesn’t always remove those obstacles, but He constantly reminds you that HE remains.

That is the perspective that brings victory into the cover-over-my-head days.

No one can do the seeing for us.

We have to choose to open our eyes, allow our vision to be made new.

There is power in perspective.

Don’t waste another moment staring blindly at all that drains and paralyzes you.

Throw those covers back, friends!

Put on your God given perspectacles today.

“I ask-ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory- to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing Him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is He is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for His followers, oh the utter extravagance of His work in us who trust him- endless energy, boundless strength!”

Ephesians 1:18-19 The Message

The Dark Days

"I don't even know where to start. Except from this emptiness I feel trying to suck me into it like a black hole. I really am trying to get out. But it pulls so intensely on me. Jealously, fear, regret, failure, despair, loneliness, anger... they scream so loudly that I cannot hear...I just want to run and hide. But I can't. I am supposed to be the one who is always ok. I am supposed to be the one who just sucks it up and deals with it...I'll eventually be ok right? Sure. And so no one notices this gaping hole in my heart and spirit that is gushing blood so rapidly that I am pale and weak with emptiness."

This is an excerpt from my journal.

I share it because I bet that, even if you don't journal, somewhere in your life there is a piece of paper with similar words and similar heart hurts written all over it.

I share it because, I bet that you not only read those words, but you felt them with me.

I share it because, I bet you've never openly shared the intimate thoughts of your "dark days" either.

I share it because the "dark days" like to stay in the dark. They breed in the dark. They thrive in that murky hidden mess of my mind and yours. 

All those things we know and have learned seem to seep out of our grasp when dark days descend.

Our grip on the reality of who Jesus is and who we are in Christ all of the sudden feel slippery and unsure.

And so we are tempted to take up residence there. 

Worn and drained from the suffocating darkness, it feels safer and easier to stake our tent, hunker down until it all just passes us by.

But the other side doesn't come to you...you have to journey to it. 

Sunsets and sunrises are beautiful...but there is a reason nobody ever takes a picture of the dark. 

It is an ugly place to see.

But oh my...

it can be a lovely place to hear: to hear the voice of your Savior.

The dark amplifies what we cannot see. 

So we must choose to listen to the voice that not only is calling us to the light, but IS the light.

Tuning our ear to His voice is determination to travel toward the dawn.

When the darkness wants to envelope you, remember Jesus wants to embrace you.

When the darkness wants to blind you, remember Jesus wants to bind your wounds.

When the darkness wants to silence you, remember Jesus wants to sanctify you.

When the darkness wants to isolate you, remember Jesus wants to invigorate you.

When the darkness wants to berate you, remember Jesus wants to beautify you.

When the darkness wants to frighten you, remember Jesus wants to free you.

When the darkness wants to confuse you, remember Jesus wants to comfort you.

When the darkness wants to incite you to anger, remember Jesus invites you to peace.

When the darkness wants to taunt you, remember Jesus wants to teach you.

When the darkness want to stun you, remember Jesus wants to strengthen you.

When the darkness wants to paralyze you, remember Jesus wants to promote you. 

When the darkness wants to stay, remember Jesus came to SAVE! 

The simple truth is, 

there is always a dawn, even to the darkest nights.

But just as there is sunrise, sunset will come. 

And when, not if, the dark descends, we have two choices:

Let the darkness chain you

or

Let Jesus change you.

I don't know about you, but I am not going to sit down in it.

I am not going to make this my permanent address.

I am walking through.

And if I must walk through it, I don't want to walk out the other side the same as I walked in! 

So how do we move forward from this place? 

Do the next thing.

Breathe. 

Praise. 

Give thanks. 

Dive into the Word.

Actively exchange truth for the lies.

Repeat.

And one day, when you open your eyes, you'll blink wildly at that glimmer on the horizon, and you'll see a sun coming up in your soul.

You may not even recognize yourself...but you will have become so intimately familiar with Jesus, The Lover of Your Soul, that you actually are thankful for the dark days...not because you loved them, but because the most amazing thing happened there: you fell further in love with Him. 

Don't allow your dark days to chain you.

Allow Jesus to change you.

"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

James 1:2-4, The Message

"Show me the right path, O lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you."

Psalms 25:4, 5 NLT

You Know a Person with an Eating Disorder

It may not be you, but it is more than likely a struggle of someone you know. Hear their voice...

I am your daughter. I am your sister. 

I am your son. I am your brother. 

I am your best friend, girl friend, boy friend, classmate. 

I am the skinny girl. 

I am the obese guy. 

I am the one who looks like they have it all together.

I am the cheerleader, the singer, the dancer, the band nerd, the jock, the class president, the valedictorian. 

I am the sorority girl, fraternity guy.

I am the Bible study leader, the barista, the roommate, the random date, the store clerk. 

I am the teacher, the gym buddy, the soccer mom, the new mom, the working and stay at home parent, the CEO.

I am a person with an eating disorder.

I am scared and deceived and desperate...and you may never know it. 

I am looking at my life spiral out of control, and I feel helpless.

I am crying out for help, but in this nightmare, no words form on my lips, no sounds escape from my mouth.

I am silenced by fear.

I am paralyzed by impending judgement.

I am suffocated by misunderstanding.

I am quietly marching to the rhythm of deception and secret and appearances.

I am dying every day because I am blind and deaf to truth and identity.

I am controlling the only thing I feel like I can control.

I am chasing perfection that can never be caught.

I am harder on myself than you could ever be.

I am exhausted and alone.

I am a person with an eating disorder. 

But helping me? 

Helping me is only a breath away. It begins when you break through the deafening silence, shatter the glass walls I've built. 

Do you see me?

Do you know me?

Please. Help. Me.

It's as easy as ABC...

Be AWARE of my actions and things I may be trying to hide.

Be BOLD to reach out to me if you suspect I am trapped in this vicious, self-destructing disorder. 

Be COMMITTED to holding me accountable. 

Be DETERMINED I seek professional help. 

Be ENCOURAGING every step of the way- even when you do not understand what I say, what I think, or what I do.

Be FAITHFUL to celebrate my small goals met. It will result in my major victories. 

Be GRACE. Because I never show any to myself. I need someone to show me what it looks like to stand up after a fall. 

Be HOPE. I am in the deepest dark and I need to be reminded that the light still exists. 

Be INSPIRING, directing conversations and focus to things that carry eternal, not earthly weight.

Be JOYFUL. I am good at feigning happiness...but joy escapes me.

Be KNOWLEDGABLE about the disease, it's signs and symptoms.

Be LOOKING for the masked symptoms I am working so hard to disguise. 

Be MINDFUL of your words in relation to body image and beauty. I catalogue them all.

Be NOISY when it comes to calling out the unhealthy and unrealistic portrayals of beauty all around.

Be OPEN to having hard conversations with me. 

Be PATIENT. Remind me-and you-that my disorder didn't develop in a day, and it will not be healed in one. 

Be QUIET and let me speak my fears, struggles, and temptations without judgement.

Be RESISTANT to the temptation to assume that I simply have an issue with food or portion control.

Be SAFE by keeping all diet products and paraphernalia out of my reach while I am on the road to recovery. 

Be TOUGH when I want to escape. Remind me that it's about what I am running toward instead of what I am running from. 

Be UNWILLING for me to accept our culture's ideals. 

Be VALIANT. Don't assume someone else will come to my rescue.

Be WICKED in my eyes: TRASH THE SCALE! 

Be eXPECTING me to deceive you, especially in the beginning.

Be YOU. Don't share your perfections with me. Tell me how you overcame YOUR struggles.

Be a ZOMBIE killer! Help me lay down the stench of death and 

pick up LIFE! 

I am a person with an eating disorder...

...and by reading this, and sharing this truth...

you may have just saved my life. 

*************************************

Having struggled with an eating disorder for over 4 years in my late teens and early 20s, and it's ever lingering after effects and struggles even today, it's time to demystify these disorders and recognize them for the serious issue they are. 

They are hidden and hideous.

They are deceptive and devastating to mental and physical health. 

They are everywhere. 

Culture glamorizes, laughs, and scoffs at these disorders.

But they are real.

And it isn't just the teenagers, the models, the stereotypical. 

I want to give a voice to all of the those you would look at and say, "I had no idea".

I want to empower the loved ones, the concerned ones, who don't know how to go any further than the phrase, "I had no idea."

Hear their voices. 

Educate.

Inform.

Be bold.

Take action.

Rescue.

Growing in Grace and Living Simple Truth,
~Julie

Find more information on this subject, check out National Eating Disorder Awareness 

Appointments with the Divine

Divine appointments.
Sometimes they seem like a supernatural, rare and distant thing.

A moment set apart and appointed by God to connect His children in ways that they could never foresee or even fully understand apart from Him.

I have seen the Lord knit together moments and lives in ways that could never have been predicted, never calculated into the days and agendas we have scribbled out with our human shortsightedness.

It is amazing to me to look back and see how right there, in the smallest, seemingly uneventful things, the Lord was at work establishing there on the horizon an intersection of lives...that would bring an explosion of His Glory!

And yet, they often flood our days, unnoticed.

I have thought about the intricate orchestrations of the Lord in bringing about all the divine appointments He had for me on my Alaska mission trip, with the new and the familiar, as well as in days since.

Whether the opportunity to speak into a life, be the life spoken into, or simply observe the Lord connect lives, transformation always follows these appointments with the Divine!

Will you choose to be aware?...aware of what God is doing in the seen and unseen?

Will you make yourself available?...available to the work He has planned to do in and through you?

It's the difference between a life filled by a slow drip and a fire hydrant saturated life.

Don't become desensitized to all that He has for you to engage in.

Allow the Holy Spirit to pour out boldness and confidence to speak His truth into the lives around you, as well as to receive what He has for you from others He has placed in your path!

So get grab your phone, get Siri on the task, pull up your calendar, dig out your planner...it's time to set your reminder, choose your alert tones, write it down, block out time slot: you have an appointment with the Divine!

You can't afford to miss it...and neither can those in your God purposed path!

So what divine appointments are in store for YOU today?

"The Lord God has given me
the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary.
Morning by morning he awakens;
he awakens my ear
to hear as those who are taught."
Isaiah 50:4 ESV

"Since this is the kind if life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implication in every detail of our lives."
Galatians 5:25 MSG

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works..."
Hebrews 10:24 ESV

"So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this, just keep doing it."
1 Thessalonians 5:11

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
Hebrews 3:13 NIV84