When You Feel Less Than

There are days I feel really small.

Itty bitty.

Tiny up next to the size of the struggle around me and those looming ahead of me. 

And itty bitty next to great big?  It's scary.

Fear tells me I am weak and I listen long to those words.

My kids mess up. "I'm a failure."

I step out in my gifting. "Why would anyone listen to you?"

I look in the mirror. "You are going to walk out of the house looking like that?"

I scroll through Facebook. "Too bad you aren't as whatever as so-and-so."

Life feels big and uncomfortable and heavy- like Saul's armor draped on the little shepherd boy David- and panic sets in because I see how small I am...and I know a Goliath is close on my horizon.

All I really want to do is run from these ugly giants in my life.

Because little ole me cannot face big ole that. 

I sit around like the Israelites listening to Goliath heckle them for 40 days, 2 times a day(that's 80 stinking times- for those of you who don't want to hurt your brain).

They listened to what the enemy called them. 

They hunkered down in their smallness and gave ear to his lies.

But David stood up in the middle of feeling less than.

He didn't stand up in who HE was; he stood up in who GOD is.

He reeked of sheep and the world's armor was ill fitting.

But David was a worshipper and what went before him was the aroma of praise.

David was small but he threw off what did not fit and embraced what the Lord had given him: a sling shot and five stones, to be exact.

He didn't compare. He didn't complain.

I have a lot to learn about that.

Throwing off the world's ideals, not listening to the enemy's taunts of who I am and who I am not.

David had a confidence that was great big because he didn't just know the promises of his great big God- he believed them.

He lived large in the middle of the reality of his less than...and giants fell.

Psalm 138:3 in the Message version says this:

"The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength."

I love that! HE makes my life large. 

Not my trying, not my doing, not my fit pitching, not my fussing, not my creating, not my succeeding, not my attention seeking, not my anything.

My little life turns large when I cry out and turn it over to Him.

Those great bigs in my life are indeed great big.

But God is bigger.

I may indeed be less than, but in Christ I am greater than.
I can slay giants...and so.can.you.

It's time to live large.

Don't give up, mom.
Don't give up, dad.
Don't give up, teacher.
Don't give up, pastor.
Don't give up, student.
Don't give up, senior adult.
Don't give up, business owner.
Don't give up, dreamer.
Don't.give.up.
God is at work in you and for you. 

If you have breath in your lungs, He is not done with you yet, friend.

Grab your slingshot. 

Let's go take down some giants. 

"When I walk into the thick of trouble, keep me alive in the angry turmoil. With one hand strike my foes, With your other hand save me. Finish what you started in me, GOD. Your love is eternal—don’t quit on me now." 

Psalm 138:7-8 The Message

Spread Truth today! Post and Tweet this: 

"In Christ, I can live large in the middle of my less than...and giants WILL fall."-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth

What giants are you facing? What has you convinced you are less than?
Have you seen this truth in your life? 
Comment below! 
I would love to pray for you and see how your story can encourage others to grab their slingshot!
There is power in community and power in prayer!

(Read more about David's story and God showing up great big in 1 Samuel 17) 

Time for New Perspectacles

Some days I just want to close my eyes.

Just close my eyes and escape back to the comfort of my bed, covers pulled overhead.

The view of my life seems safer there.

I can shout at circumstances to go away, without ever looking them in the eye.

I can even pretend they aren’t there.

But that doesn’t mean they go away…or that they get smaller or untangled.

Worst of all, it usually makes them bigger than ever in my mind.

My perspective has been whittled down to the sliver of light piercing into the spot of darkness I have chosen to lie down in.

Comfortably miserable in the familiar.

Maybe you have been there.

Maybe you are there.

Maybe you, like me, know what it’s like to live life from behind the covers in your life.

Maybe you, too, have had all the feelings about all the things.

Maybe you feel like you are losing the ability to truly see.

We are in need of new perspectacles.

God given perspectacles that open my eyes to the purpose, the plan, the power for the moments I am blindly stumbling through.

The funny thing about any glasses that correct my vision, is that they don’t just jump on my face. 

I have to pick them up, and put them on- day in and day out.

That’s why it isn’t enough to simply talk about a new perspective.

It feels elusive and slippery. 

It is something I cannot hold, so I rationalize it is something I cannot have.

You and I?

We have to look at what we are holding on to, feel it and acknowledge it in our hands and set it down. 

We have to take the time, make the effort to exchange our obstacles for perspectacles.

Obstacles of fear, worry, insecurity, pain, jealousy, bitterness- they all blind us to the truth.

This kind of skewed vision leads to a life dictated by circumstance rather than His Promises.

But God will replace your obstacles with perspectacles.

You have to put on your God given perspectacles, not just so can see the way, but so you can see the One.

These perspectacles don’t merely give you sight.
They focus the eyes of your heart on His hope, the way out of this dark you’re sitting in.

He doesn’t always remove those obstacles, but He constantly reminds you that HE remains.

That is the perspective that brings victory into the cover-over-my-head days.

No one can do the seeing for us.

We have to choose to open our eyes, allow our vision to be made new.

There is power in perspective.

Don’t waste another moment staring blindly at all that drains and paralyzes you.

Throw those covers back, friends!

Put on your God given perspectacles today.

“I ask-ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory- to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing Him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is He is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for His followers, oh the utter extravagance of His work in us who trust him- endless energy, boundless strength!”

Ephesians 1:18-19 The Message

Rollercoaster Parent

You’ve been there.

Scrolling through your newsfeed at a particular time of year when Facebook or Instagram is flooded with accolades from report cards, Awards Day, Sports banquets, etc., etc. 

As a parent, we have all posted our kids "wins" at some point- actively or passively. 

And if you haven't, you will.

But there is a hidden side of all this, which none of us ever dare talk about...

You see, I love to see the excellence, hard work, gifts, talents and opportunities applauded…really, I do.

But then, it hits like a leg cramp in the middle of the night. 

I mean it just reaches up and grabs a hold like a crab on a chicken neck: comparison.

"Oh wow. My kid didn’t do that."

"Yikes, is my kid even on grade level in that subject?"

You get the picture.

But why do I care? Why do you care? Why do any of us care?

Because we all like success.

Victory is programmed into the very fabric of our being. 

We are created in the image of a victorious God.

So, naturally, we all want to succeed at this parent thing.

I have never met anyone who has procreated, who- involved in their kids life or not- said, 

“Yeah, I hope my kid is a complete failure. That’d be greeeeaaat.” 

It doesn’t work that way. 

We see them as an extension of ourselves.

And we want that extension to represent us well, don’t we?

I'll be the first with my hand in the air on that one.

But boy, can this can be a dangerous ride.

I'm talking nauseating-where's-the-trashcan-panic-attack-inducing ride. 

The rollercoaster of all rollercoasters...if you let it.

And me? Unfortunately, I'm a annual pass holder. 

I find myself, green in the face, asking, 

"How did I end up on this up-and-down ride as a parent?

No one who has ever been a parent has described it as easy. Ever.
Seriously. It is a tough and unpredictable adventure.
But, contrary to popular opinion, being a parent doesn't have to be a never-ending rollercoaster ride. 

Have you ever seen those warning signs posted outside a rollercoaster? 

It basically lets you know in a nutshell that if you have issues...dude...don't get on...just don't do it. 

But there is always that person who thinks they have to because all their friends are, or they don't believe the warnings...and that usually ends being the person whose vomit you are stepping through later on. 

Gross. Ain't nobody got time for that.

But our pseudo-friend Good Intention coaxes us onward, further into the line. Then Fear shows up, and tells us we better jump on, because our reputation is on the line. And of course, Comparison convinces us there is no other way to exist, so you better just figure out how to ride this ride for the long haul.

So...I'm talking to the queasy parents who one way or another have boarded this rollercoaster and feel like it's the only way to go through this awesome journey called parenting.
I'm talking to those who are already covered in vomit- your own or somebody else's.
I'm talking to those standing at the warning sign, feeling the pressure.

I'm talking to me.

I'm talking to you. 

Here is the real danger we face: 

If I take credit for my kids successes, I will also take credit for their failures.

Let that sink in a second.

If I pat myself on the back-even in secret- for the right choices my children make, then I will beat myself up for the the wrong choices they make.

That is sobering truth. 

Truth I don't want to admit. 

But follow me here...

If I, as a parent, begin to combat that truth with, "But shouldn't I be proud I have trained up my child in the way they should go?"

That same logic as a parent also then leads me to this question at some point: 

"But shouldn't I be condemned because I failed in some area of training my child in the way they should go?" 

Neither are true of you and I as parents, when we are living with the grace of God rushing through our veins.

Here is where we slam the emergency brakes on the rollercoaster and disembark this dizzying ride:

All I truly can do is be obedient to the Holy Spirit guided parenting He has called me to, and then.... 

trust God with the rest.

Releasing our kids doesn't begin at 18; it begins before they take their first breath.

Otherwise, I am subject to the rise and fall of the choices they make.

This is a me-centric attitude toward parenting: wanting them to act a certain way because of how those choices reflect on me.

Me-centric parenting has a desire for the child to succeed that grows from our own busy-ness to make them victorious, rather than from our rest in the already achieved victory of Jesus.

Of course we all want our children to make safe, successful choices- choices that bring them life, health, and happiness...but is that so I can walk with my head held high, or so that Jesus alone can be lifted high? .

Good or bad- we should use it all to point our children, and this world, to the grace of Jesus. 

That is the Jesus-centric parenting we all should strive for as Christ followers.

If I take credit for my child choosing good, then I am belittling the grace of God. 

Even my choices to lead my child well are only possible through grace.

Because only by grace can a sinner make a choice that speaks true life.

.

When I struggle with Jesus-centric parenting, it's because I am not embracing the fullness of His grace- the all encompassing grace that Jesus gave His life to pour out over mine...and theirs.

It is not about what I can get them to do or not do:

It's about WHO I point them to through it all.

I don't just need grace to be a parent- they need grace to be a son, be a daughter.

I can't forget that they need JESUS above all else- NOT my excellence in parenting.

They need me to be excellent in my pursuit of Jesus above all else.

That is what will transform and empower their life.

When I finally admit my deepest heart motives, and get that it's not ME that they need- it's Jesus in me and through me they need...THAT is when I fulfill my role as a parent the way God intended, and release all delusions about my abilities. 

So here's the truth: 

You DON'T have to get on the ride. 

And here's the warning: 

If you do, it WILL make you sick.

Good intentions may have gotten us on that parent rollercoaster...but only Grace will get us off.

We don't have to be rollercoaster parents.

Somebody throw the kill switch already.

Parent friends, let's choose to put our feet on the solid ground of His grace, and walk forward in faith.

So next time you see me zombie eyed heading toward that line...do me a favor...grab my arm and tell me to run the other direction- straight into the arms of my Father and His never ending grace and love.  

Galatians 3:3- NIV

"Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?"

James 4:6- AMP

"But He gives us more and more grace..."

Noisy Bird

"How rude. I mean, doesn’t this bird know I am trying to spend some QUIET time with the Lord on this beautiful gulf coast beach morning?” 

That’s what I was thinking at first. 

I really did try to let it go and concentrate, but my ADD tendencies got the better of me and I full on immersed myself in the unfolding bird drama.      

This solitary bird standing on the shore in the dry sand was wailing…incessantly. 

As in shrill, ear piercing shrieks. 

Once I realized it wasn’t just chirping or doing its regular thing, I got a little concerned:

Maybe this bird is hurt? 

Can it even fly? 

Maybe she is a mama bird attracting away predators in ultimate sacrifice. 

Maybe she is warning her bird friends of impending danger. 

Maybe I should help this wittle birdie!

My curiosity was peaked…so I watched.

All week, I had been fascinated with birds that would fly over the shallow coastline and dive bomb the water to catch a fish. The precision and commitment was intense.

So I noticed that this noisy bird, still standing on and never moving from the shore, continually screeched at another bird flying nearby over the water as it fished. 

The fisher bird would come to the noisy bird and go back to the water again and again.

Noisy bird never missed a beat. Ever. 

It constantly cried out to the bird fishing.

And then, it happened.

The other bird caught a fish and took it to Noisy bird and fed it.

Then it happened again. And again and again.

The only time Noisy bird was silent, was in the 3 seconds it took it to swallow that fish, then it went right back to the wailing.

The fisher bird went out and back, out and back, over and over.

I was beginning to be inspired! 

Here is this bird willing to feed a fellow bird-injured and impaired-who is unable to fish on its own! 

But then, to my surprise, Noisy bird, who had seemed so bound to the shore-seemingly physically unable to do what would sustain its life- just took off in flight! <insert audible gasp on my part>

Now, this was no baby bird. 

It was full grown, just like the one feeding it. 

It had no impairments.

Yet, it pierced the atmosphere, demanding to be fed. 

And this fisher bird complied.

Then, Noisy bird got its fill of the whole ordeal and took off. 

But I kept thinking: what will happen when this bird gets hungry next time? 

Because, the funny thing about hunger is that it will always come again.

So what then? 

Will it make another scene, shrieking demands to be fed? 

Will some other bird be its fisher? 

The very hunger that gave rise to Noisy bird’s shriek could have been satisfied in beautiful stillness if the bird itself would have pursued its source of nourishment.

There would have been no need for the drama.

No need for the squawking.

Just focus. Then food. Then nourishment….and repeat.

This very bird who stayed noisy on the shore was created with vision to see into the ocean depths, to find its sustenance and strength in the vast ocean, and wings to rise above waves and dangers that could drag it down.

And so are we.

We were knit together to pursue our Source of sustenance and strength, to rise above.

But it’s so much easier some days to stand on the shore where we feel safe and pitch a fit and make noise.

The reality is, the most distracting and paralyzing noise in my life comes from my own mouth.

Instead of letting my soul hunger drive me toward the use of my uniquely given gifts, talents, and personality in the relentless pursuit of the Person of Jesus, I plant my feet and wail about my self-imposed emptiness.

Following Christ isn’t just about holding eternal death at bay.

It is about embracing the abundant life Jesus died for us to have.

It is about the soaring, the diving, the hunger…understanding that the more I seek Him, the more I find Him.

And there is growth in the pursuit.

Pursuit begins with choosing to move.

Choose to embrace all He created you to be and died for you to receive.

If you stay noisy on the shore, the joy of pursuit will never be revealed, the reward of encounter and fulfillment never truly experienced.

Staying hungry is a good thing. 

Waiting for somebody to bring you a meal on the shore? Not so much.

Yes, life is noisy. 

But let’s resolve that the noise that distracts ourselves and others from their pursuit of Jesus won’t be coming from us.

Take flight, friends.

No more noisy bird. 

  

I Know You, Mom.

I know you, mom.

I know you feel like you are never enough.

I know you feel like you never hit the mark.

I know you because I know me.

There are no forms or formulas. 

No legitimate handbooks for the myriad of scenarios you face. 

Just you, feeling around in the dark, hoping that you don't break your neck or strangle somebody else's on any given day dealing with cranky little ones to mouthy bigger ones. 

I know you, mom.

I know you wake up each morning searching for how you can do it all with excellence, and then lie down each night only able to see where you did not.

I know you want to sear moments into your mind, into the mind of your child, but fear that you're both only going to remember all the wrong ones.

I know you go to work and feel like you've handed your heart over to the world.

I know you stay at home and feel like you are handing your children a worn out, used up version of the person you long to be.

I know you stand peering into their grown up lives, wanting to hand them nuggets of wisdom that they don't think they need.

I know you, mom.

I know you never stop worrying about what you haven't done and never stop wishing you could undo some of what you have.

I know you sit in the middle of the longest of days and wonder how you can do this.

I know you think about the short time you have left with them close by and try to find a way to breathe through the panic.

I know you sit lonely and worry and pray for the choices they are now making for themselves.

I know you, mom.

I know you are covered in baby food and Cheerios hoping for a shower this week.

I know you are surrounded by a Lego minefield wondering if your house will ever be clean again.

I know you are confined to your van taxi on countless afternoons.

I know you are waiting on the phone call from the kid who was supposed to call when they got there.

I know you are cooking meals and offering to babysit, because no matter where they are in life, your heart is never uninvolved. 

I know you, mom.

I know you love.

I know you dream. 

I know you hope.

I know you expect.

But I also know you hurt.

I know you despair.

I know you worry.

I know you ache.

I know you break.

But those shattered pieces? 

You are not the glue that holds it all together.

It is the Grace of Jesus.

In every place, mom, He knows you.

In every place, mom, He equips you.

In every place, mom, He empowers you.

In every place, mom, He is WITH you.

Wherever you are, when you want to be precisely what your child needs, press into the heart of the Father.

It isn't your perfection they need...it's your pursuit of Jesus.

So keep showing them.

Show them real.

Show them love.

Show them forgiveness.

Show them grace.

Show them, mom.

Laugh at your crazy and you won't lose it at theirs.

Unashamedly make time to breathe, so you can find peace in the pieces.

Respond to mama guilt by choosing to give thanks.

Quiet regret with small intentional moments today.

Live your days, mom.

Live your days with praise that you had breath to do it, and His ever-present grace to flood where you were less than.

Because HE is greater than. 

He is greater than your biggest fear, mom.

Even in that panic thought that rises in the night, He is greater than.

Live your days with His greater than, mom.

I know you.

I know you are thinking it would be nice.

I know you are thinking you can't.

I know you are inspired but feel inadequate.

I know you, mom.

But I know Him.

I know He says He will make your strength perfect. (Psalm 18:32)

I know He says He will be faithful to do what He has called you to.(1 Thessalonians 5:24)

I know He says nothing is impossible with Him.(Luke 1:37)

I know Him, mom.

And He knows you.

"For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)

I know you, mom.

I know you are chosen, beautifully broken, with power to shape the next generation and courage to do it with grace.

And I know you will.

Take heart, mom. 

I know you: 

YOU are a world changer powered by Grace.

Give Thanks

I realize now that I didn’t initially put it on my porch for me.

It is the cutest little wood framed chalk board you ever saw, which I added last minute to my front porch Fall decor.

I wrote simply: “Give Thanks”.

Then, I hung it on the back of one of my rocking chairs for approaching guests to admire- amongst my vintage cider jars, an endearing sign about pumpkin spice and lots of burlap….but I digress.

It hung there on the side of that rocker facing toward my steps up to the front door at just the right angle…at least for a while.

Today, as I sat in my favorite chair in my den, I looked out the windows toward the rocker and staring in at me were the words, “Give Thanks”.

My first thought was simple: I need to go turn that sign around. 

A few moments later: Man, I know I am going to forget to turn that sign around. 

A few minutes after that: Stop staring at me, sign! You’re freaking me out!

So I stared back.

And that is when I realized that the words were facing in exactly the right direction.

So many times I only give thanks from the outside in, when I really need to be first giving thanks from the inside out.

We stand on the front porch of other people’s life and circumstances and think how thankful they should be.

But we rarely stand on the inside of our own life mess and give thanks in the middle of it.

We are willing to wear thankful as a logo- a sign hung on the front porch of life for the world to see, yet never knead thankfulness into the fabric of our own heart.

Because somedays, that takes excruciating effort. 

Somedays, it takes looking beyond the crazy of what our eyes see.

Somedays we all need a sign staring at us through the window: Give Thanks.

So today...

Sitting in the middle of your mess, give thanks.

Sitting in the middle of your lack, give thanks.

Sitting in the middle of your loss, give thanks.

Sitting in the middle of your questions, give thanks.

Sitting in the middle of your pain, give thanks.

Sitting in the middle of your loneliness, give thanks.

Sitting in the middle of it all, give thanks.

Give thanks inside out.

Acknowledge Jesus as the Giver and trust Him with what He has given.

Not because it will radically change your circumstance, or even the way the world views it.

Give thanks because it radically changes YOU. 

When Jesus sets your feet on a path, He equips you to walk it with victory.

Give thanks.

When Jesus allows tearing down, He is about to do some building up.

Give thanks.

When Jesus seems silent, He wants you to listen hard for game changing truth He is about to speak.

Give thanks.

When Jesus allows rejection in your life, He is ushering in His protection over your life.

Give thanks.

Give thanks, not because you want Jesus to work in your life...give thanks because He already is.

Give thanks inside out and have your perspective transformed, your life empowered, your mind renewed and joy restored.

Thank you, little chalkboard sign.

When you turned around, you turned me around too. 

#GiveThanks

The Ending Place

Have you ever thought backwards? 

Have you ever taken the time to mentally stand at the end of your journey- parenting, homeschooling, career, fitness...and the list goes on- and asked,

"What do I want to be able to say of the journey when I stand in this ending place?"

It isn't easy. 

Because it reminds us that day WILL come. 

I recently did this for our home educating journey. 

Why? Because there are days I need to remember what I want my future self to say, so my present self will make decisions and keep her emotions in line with the ending place truth I want to see. 

I keep them ever before me. 

As I read them today, I realized that maybe you could use some of the truth tucked inside these Spirit words for your journey? 

Your journey hasn't ended yet...but it will. 

What do you want to say in that place of journey's end? 

Praying these words spur you to think backwards from the ending place so you are powerfully fueled for your today place:

"At the end of this journey:  There will not be perfection...there will be beauty in every broken moment. We are not seeking to create a product...we long to disciple a person. We will look back and see that we got it wrong A LOT- but that when we surrendered to our Savior, HE always made it right. When it is all said and done, may we always remember that where intimacy with Jesus is watered, true intelligence always flourishes. 

We loved. 

We laughed. 

We found Grace...and learned  a whole lot along the way." 

-Julie McNeely, Romans 12 Academy, Mama to 3, Surrendered to the One.