Color Me Grace

I am not sure why I didn't believe...or maybe I simply chose to forget.
Either way, my hands are now purple, orange, and red.
Apparently when the directions say wear gloves, and they provide them in the pack of tie dye, you should actually put them on your hands.
Who knew?!?

So now I look as through I slaughtered something with my bare hands while mixing raspberries and Tang.
Nice.

Every time I look down, move my hands, reach for something....all I see are the stains.
"What will people think when they see theses nasty hands?"
"Is it weird to wear gloves in 90 degree weather?"
Momentary panic can lead to absurdity!

My hubby tried to encourage me saying it will wear off, and he is right it, probably will...but until then-
I am stained.

And some things are just like that...they leave a residue that is not easily removed.

It all starts as fun and games, but then, you see the stain it has left on your life, and it's not so innocent anymore.
We scrub, we soak in vain.

Enter grace.

In those moments that all we see are the screaming purples, oranges, and reds of our poor choices, His grace is available to quiet our panic when we see the reality of sin tattooed on our lives.

But this...THIS is why Jesus died.
To bring calm in these moments that we must look our humanity in the face.
To cover my sin stain with His cleansing blood.
To take this skin marred by the world and the results of my own choices, and replace it with His righteousness.

All cover-up tactics, all of the worry about what others will think- it can never help me maintain the appearance of holiness.
It only holds me captive.

I am blinded by my mess.

Consumed by that which I cannot clean, rather than by the only One who can bring the freedom of true cleansing.

But that is why Grace...
Why grace is amazing.
Why grace is all sufficient.
Why grace is greater than all my sin.
Why grace is the gift that never ends.
Why grace is for me....
because without it,
I am stained.

And when I find myself, staring once again at the filthy residue of my own sin choices, I will run to this grace- His love beyond compare- and know Jesus, in all His cleansing power, is ready to stand in my place...if only I will lift my hands in surrender.

Because after all...
"What can wash away my sin?
NOTHING but the blood of Jesus!"

So, forget purples, oranges, reds...
Color me GRACE.

"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."
John 1:16 ESV

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin."
1 John 1:7 ESV

"For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace."
Romans 6:14 ESV

"But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
James 4:6 ESV

"Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life..."
Psalm 51:7 MSG

What's That Smell???

Much like Gus on "Psych"(one of my fave shows by the way), I have been blessed and/or cursed with a "Super Sniffer".
Smells just cannot sneak past this nose of mine.
Hence the reason I love Yankee Candle, Bath and Body Works, fabric softener, and the like.

And, apparently, I have a smell of my own.
Weird. I know.
But let me explain.

My big sister has always done one thing first when she greets me with a hug: breathe in deep and say, "Ahh. You smell good."
And I always ask what I smell like and she says, "Julie."

I am hoping that's a good thing.

Hilariously enough, her oldest daughter never fails to do the exact same thing!
And, as for my kids, my son Jonathan at least once a day, sometimes more, comes up to me, puts his nose to my arm- about his head level- breathes in deep, looks up at me with a smile and says,
"Ahhh. Mama you smell so good! Especially after workout."

And I am like...what?!?
I mean, I do not even understand how that is possible!
My Vanilla Bean Noelle from Bath and Body can only do so much!

But nevertheless, this is the way it goes each and every day.
And Jonathan sighs contentedly and says,
"You just smell like...like...Mama."

Sure, my kids and family get close enough to sniff me every now and then...awkward pause...
...Uh, yeah...

But here's the thing:
What aroma is my life- my attitude, choices, actions, interactions-giving off to all those I encounter?

2 Corinthians 2:15(MSG)says,
"...Through us he brings the knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation- redolent with life..."

Would those in my realm of influence say that when my life intersects with theirs, they breathe in an "exquisite fragrance" that can only be Christ?

I am afraid that all too often we spend more time trying to cover up the stench of death that is lingering over our lives rather than allowing the Lord to burn away that rotten flesh and replace it with all the sweetness of His righteousness.

But isn't it easier to remove the source of repugnant odor rather than wear yourself to the bone trying to keep it under wraps?

I mean, seriously, have you ever tried to do that?!?

The cover-up tactic may work for a time, but eventually the truth of who you are and what lies within is going to...for lack of a better word...reek.

All the more reason we need the purifying love and power of Jesus.

His Grace has a perfect way of cleaning us up, scrubbing us clean...filling our lives with all that He died for us to have.

Oh and how sweet it truly is.

So what do you have to do?
Give Him access.
Allow Him to take out your trash.
Make your emptiness available for Him to fill with the neverending gift of His Spirit.
Let the aroma of His praise rise from your life!

And then, as the world around you breathes in deep, they will say,
"Ahh! You smell like...like...JESUS!"

And you can know, without a doubt, THAT is a good thing.


"Generous in love- God give grace! Huge in mercy- wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry. I know how bad I've been; my sins are staring me down...Soak me in your laundry and I'll come out clean, scrub me and I'll have a snow-white life."
Psalm 51:1-2, 7(MSG)

"For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live".
Romans 8:13 ESV

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1, 2 ESV

"...and burn the whole ram on the altar. It is a burnt offering to the Lord. It is a pleasing aroma, a food offering to the Lord."
Exodus 29:18 ESV

"Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name."
Hebrews 13:15 ESV

CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO that goes right with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz8yiMmsWtQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

A Foul Encounter

"Seriously?
All I wanted was to get a foul ball for my kids!"
That's what was going through my mind, as I found myself in one of the most awkward moments one could encounter as a pastor's wife, mom of three at a Greenville Drive Baseball game.

We sat on the grassy hill, near the top and had observed rather aggressive attempts amongst unattended kids to get foul balls which frequented the area. My kids knew better than to even engage in that nonsense, yet they wanted a ball SO badly.

This reality is what drove me to stand to my feet as a foul ball headed our way, landing atop the netted kids area.
I was so focused on that ball, because...Mama WAS gettin' that thing for her babies!
No one else near me, no hands even close to my angle on the ball, it rolled off the net right into my outstretched left hand!
I was ecstatic!
The ball had gone from the bat into my hand.
It was MINE!

I turned around, bringing my hand down, anticipating giving the ball to one of my children, whom I knew would be close by...and then...it happened.

In a literal blink of an eye,
I was MOBBED!

Before I could even wrap my brain around what was going on, I found myself at the bottom of a dog pile of about 20 prepubescent boys, clawing at my hand, trying to pry open my grip, finger by finger!

These kids had never even been near this ball!
It had not bounced around from person to person, it had not been dropped, fumbled or even remotely in reach of ANY of these kids...it WAS most assuredly MINE....

Yet, these boys were determined to steal it right out of my hand, no matter how they had to do it!

I sat in shock underneath this testosterone overload, death gripping the ball, thinking surely they will see I have it and move on...but nooooooo.

Finally, on the verge of panic mode, I went beast!
Using all the arm strength I had, I yanked the ball to me and screamed,
"GET OFF ME!!!"

It went rather silent.

I furiously STOOD up, bewildered, and astonishly asked,
"What is wrong with you kids?!
And WHERE ARE YOU PARENTS?!?"

Well, if it wasn't awkward before...it was now!

They began to disperse, realizing they had messed with the wrong woman.

Some of them mumbled about having almost had it, blah, blah, blah...
Which I quickly corrected, reminding them no hands, save my own, had been on that ball...
And...I may or may not have told one smart mouth punk of a kid to go tell his friends he got beat by a girl...(not my finest moment, I know.)

But here's the truth of it:
These boys had literally just jacked up a 35 year old woman for a baseball!

They were no respecter of persons, there was no hesitancy because of age or size.
They wanted to take what I had and if pulling me to the ground would do it, then so be it.

But losing that ball was NOT an option for me.
Sure, I could have let go, surrendered what was rightfully mine.
Yes, it would have been easier, and I wouldn't have had the scratch marks and huge black bruise on my left hand for all those days after.

But that was MY foul ball.
Mine to have, mine to share with my kiddos.

So I dug in, and hung on and after what seemed like forever, but was only a couple of minutes, there I was...posing with that ball as my husband took a pic through his incessant laughter at all that had just transpired!

You, too, have an enemy that is no respecter of persons.
He is watching and waiting for you to grasp the blessings and joy that God has for you...and he is ready to TAKE YOU DOWN.

Just as you maneuver to pull it close and maybe even intend to spread the love, he is right there, vying to catch you off guard, wrestle you to the ground and convince you to surrender what is rightfully yours:
joy, freedom, wisdom, intimacy, power, peace...

He will claw at areas of your life, determined to pry open your grip on truth finger by finger!

But losing is NOT an option!

Don't be paralyzed by shock and disbelief, caught pondering the "why" of the circumstance!
Focus on the Giver
Focus on the good and perfect gift.
Focus on taking full ownership of what is rightly yours to possess as a son and daughter of the King of Kings!

We must be prepared for battle.
Never caught off guard, and ready to exert all the GOD STRENGTH that the Holy Spirit so freely gives!

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud NO to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and He'll be there in no time."
James 4: 7 MSG

Your enemy seeks to steal and devour, to intimidate and bully you out of the fullness of your inheritance.

But the reality is, HE is already defeated!
Like a child trying to take the ball from a fully capable and healthy adult, the only way he can take what is yours, is IF YOU LET HIM!

Don't surrender.
Don't give in.
God's fullness and blessing are worth the resistance you will face, the surface wounds you may encounter.

So RISE UP!
And live FROM Victory!

"Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet."
James 4:10 MSG

"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up."
1 Peter 5:8 MSG

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."
John 10:10 ESV

"Oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him-endless energy, boundless strength!"
Ephesians 1:19 MSG

Appointments with the Divine

Divine appointments.
Sometimes they seem like a supernatural, rare and distant thing.

A moment set apart and appointed by God to connect His children in ways that they could never foresee or even fully understand apart from Him.

I have seen the Lord knit together moments and lives in ways that could never have been predicted, never calculated into the days and agendas we have scribbled out with our human shortsightedness.

It is amazing to me to look back and see how right there, in the smallest, seemingly uneventful things, the Lord was at work establishing there on the horizon an intersection of lives...that would bring an explosion of His Glory!

And yet, they often flood our days, unnoticed.

I have thought about the intricate orchestrations of the Lord in bringing about all the divine appointments He had for me on my Alaska mission trip, with the new and the familiar, as well as in days since.

Whether the opportunity to speak into a life, be the life spoken into, or simply observe the Lord connect lives, transformation always follows these appointments with the Divine!

Will you choose to be aware?...aware of what God is doing in the seen and unseen?

Will you make yourself available?...available to the work He has planned to do in and through you?

It's the difference between a life filled by a slow drip and a fire hydrant saturated life.

Don't become desensitized to all that He has for you to engage in.

Allow the Holy Spirit to pour out boldness and confidence to speak His truth into the lives around you, as well as to receive what He has for you from others He has placed in your path!

So get grab your phone, get Siri on the task, pull up your calendar, dig out your planner...it's time to set your reminder, choose your alert tones, write it down, block out time slot: you have an appointment with the Divine!

You can't afford to miss it...and neither can those in your God purposed path!

So what divine appointments are in store for YOU today?

"The Lord God has given me
the tongue of those who are taught,
that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary.
Morning by morning he awakens;
he awakens my ear
to hear as those who are taught."
Isaiah 50:4 ESV

"Since this is the kind if life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implication in every detail of our lives."
Galatians 5:25 MSG

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works..."
Hebrews 10:24 ESV

"So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this, just keep doing it."
1 Thessalonians 5:11

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
Hebrews 3:13 NIV84

Help?!

I must have looked pitiful.
Or desperate.
Or exhausted.
Or near passing out.
I'm really not sure.
But it was over 90 degrees in the blazing sun, and the I was on the sidewalk of East Butler leaning over the heaviest punching bag I had attempted to carry the distance of what my trainer calls a 4BL- about 1/3 of a mile.

I had to power lift this bag to my shoulder, then go the distance.
Everything in me screaming, I would set mini goals in my mind, get to that point and then stop to breathe, and, of course, keep from falling out!

After a while at 4BalanceFitness, you forget about the passers by, those curious observers along the 4 lane highway. You simply do what's gotta be done, not focusing on what the gawkers may or may not be thinking!

But this day, as I was leaned over to rest before trying to reach my next mini goal, puffing hard, burning up, wiping sweat, I was a surprised and a little confused when a couple pulled up beside me and stopped.
The nice lady, with concern all over her face, leaned out her window and asked,
"Mam...do you need some help?!?"

At first I thought, "With what?!"
But then I realized how this whole scenario must have looked to these kind people!
They saw me, struggling ferociously with this massive punching bag, near exhaustion, and they wanted to relieve my struggle in some way if they could.

When all this finally sunk in- which took a minute because I was in "the zone"- I replied,
"Oh! That is so kind, but I am actually doing this for my workout! It's on purpose! I am fine just taking a breather. Thank you though-that is so sweet of you."
And with that, they smiled and drove a little ways then did a u-turn and went back about their way.

I chuckled a little to myself, imagining how ridiculous I must have looked to prompt them to do a u-turn and ultimately stop, but, then, I knew I had to pick up that bag and press on!

As I did, and it got harder, I thought, "Man I am paying for this! Wonder what those people would say to that?"

And then as I went further, I thought, "Whew, I should have said, YES, you CAN help! Let me load this beastly bag into your car and you can drive it just out of eye shot of the door to my gym and then I will carry it the rest of the way!"

But in reality, I wouldn't have traded a second of that hot, heavy, tiring punching bag carry...yes, I was worn, but I felt strong and knew that I would be stronger for finishing and finishing well.

So finally- and I do mean fiiiiiiinnnaaaaallllyy-I made it back to the door, bag hoisted high, finishing strong with a run to the door, my trainer Meg cheering me the rest of the way!

We had a good laugh about my sidewalk encounter that day, but as I began to think about all that had transpired, I realized that my journey as a Believer can often feel the same way.

There are paths of struggle that we are often called to walk-those heavy laden scorchers we never look forward to when God writes it out on that big training chalk board of your life.

And when we look at the path, it seems long and laborious and, at times, even impossible, yet, you know you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
And yes, sometimes we have to stop and catch our breath and set our eyes on small goals just ahead.

But more dangerously, we are often tempted to quit along the way.
We wait and hope for someone else to walk the path for us, to work these muscles in our place...but it doesn't work that way.

We have spiritual muscles that need to be trained and no one can do the walking, lifting, huffin and puffin for you.

These moments of exhaustion and desperation are really moments of strength.
These are the moments that make you stronger.
These are the moments that take you deeper.
These are the moments that make you DIG.
These are the moments you find Him and KNOW Him like never before!

Yes, you may look a sight along the way-disheveled and weary worn-but God's strength is being made a reality in you.
Yes, you may have to pause and regain focus, but He is there to cheer you, support you to the finish.

Place your feet on the tough path with God confidence.
He isn't desiring to tear you down, He is longing to build you and strengthen you beyond your imagination.

He has released all the power you need to walk it out and finish strong.

It doesn't mean that it will be easy, but it WILL be worth it...every step drawing you to Himself and a spiritual body that is fit and firm through the power of His Holy Spirit alive in you!

And the well-meaning helpers?
The gawkers?
The haters?
Show them all that quitting is not an option...because what lies across the finish line is a prize beyond compare!

Go the distance.

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:14 ESV

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it."
1 Corinthians 9:24 ESV

"Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach."
Deuteronomy 30:11 NIV84

"Don't be so naive and self-confident. You're not exempt. You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it's useless. Cultivate God-confidence.
No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."
1 Corinthians 10:12-13 MSG

"We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul-not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy"
Colossians 1:11 MSG

Alaska Adventures: Just the Beginning

Sometimes the end is the end...but sometimes...the end is just the beginning.

Endings are hard, emotional things...even endings that are really beginnings.
The leaving is never easy...whether for a day or for good...and our humanness cries out wanting to change the inevitable so the tears won't escape and the depths of our hearts won't overflow for all to see.

But life resides in these tears.
And so I embrace the raw life that I can't seem to control anymore.

And my heart aches. Really. Aches.

It aches for moments I want to relive, it aches for the change I want to be, it aches for eyes I want to look into, it aches for connections to remain, it aches to be reassured this really wasn't the end of what God has done.

On this final day, the big yellow striped tent was cleared out, loads and loads hauled away. Our hands dirty with the work, our feet wet with the doing, we closed that chapter of ministry, knowing the Truth had been shared through the meeting of people's needs...a true picture of the grace hands of my Jesus.

A local diner snuggled us all in for a final lunch together as crew. Hearts were shared, generosity reached out, and the bitter-sweetness of the sharing and understanding laid us open like a book to be read...deeper connections made through the Spirit alive in us.

Our last backyard Bible Club at the Airforce Base found us tired, energy depleted from the week's labors.
But as we looked into faces that had so recently been unknown, we were burdened with the truth that we would soon say goodbye to the little ones, now familiar...and so very loved.
How do you look into their hopeful faces and say truth, that even you don't want to hear?
How do you speak to them the finality that even you don't want to face?
So we did our best to ignore that truth for the hours we sang, and laughed and shared the glorious gospel that had brought us here in the first place.
Determined to leave His mark in this place, on these people, on these little lives of Joey, Lily, Emma, Ellie, Eden, LeeAnn, Tyler, Katelyn, Kylie, Abigale, and of course Kodie, "spelled K-O-D-I-E"! :)
And we white knuckled gripped as God asked us to place them in His hands, because our reach can't extend those thousands of miles and accomplish all He has prepared...but our prayers can...and so in trust and tears, we let go.
We let go of control and grab hold of the One who knows them best and loves them most.
But our hearts crack and twinge with this obedience and this faith that we know will somehow fuel us. Somehow.
So, joy mixes in the tear drops falling on tshirts and boots.
Because above all, He is faithful.
He grace has infinite reach.
His love is relentless.

And we know that this week, in it all and through it all, it is THAT truth we have planted...and now...it is THAT truth we have to walk away believing...walk forward living.

And so this night, I find my comfy place...I escape into worship, just me and the One I love in that crowded room...we meet and I am even further undone.
I am wanting Him to pick me up and hold me and He does.
I love my Heavenly Daddy for that.
He sees my heart, He whispers peace over my aching and I am ruined by this love and grace strength that I so, so, so do not deserve.
I am freed from the wondering and the what ifs and instead become entangled in all He is.

This is what has begun in these endings.
Lives have been connected.
Resolutions have been made.
Challenges have been issued.
Truth has been shared and seen.
Hope for steadfast momentum has been locked and loaded.

And so, as we lay heads on pillows in the far north one final time, this Alaska mission comes to an end.

But in His Name, and by His Spirit, I declare and claim that it IS the BEGINNING of so much more.

Amen.

"But cling to the Lord your God as you have done to this day."
Joshua 23:8 AMP

"Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
and establish the work of our hands upon us;
yes, establish the work of our hands!"
Psalm 90:17 ESV


"...if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.
And the Lord will guide you continually
and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
like a spring of water,
whose waters do not fail."
Isaiah 58:10, 11 ESV

Alaska Adventures: Avoiding the Trap

Usefulness.
It's a tricky thing because sometimes we feel productive when we really are unproductive and sometimes we feel unproductive when we really are productive.
Either situation: it's a trap from the enemy.

Our morning mission at times this week has seemed this way.
Under the big yellow striped tent, we have done a lot of work, but also, a lot of waiting.
And waiting can often feel like doing nothing...but waiting takes trust and waiting takes patience, and those things, my friend, do not come that easily.
So as we longed to be doing more than the waiting, we were often lured into the trap of asking "why?".

Why am I in this place instead of that?
Why am I with this person and not that one?
Why, why, why?

But what we need to be asking is simply: how?
How can You use me in this situation?
How can I make You obvious under this tent, with this person, in this...in this...waiting?
How do You want to change me?How do you want to shape me?

And all of the sudden, in the dreary rain of selfishness, we begin to see the light of self sacrifice break through the clouds, bringing the warm light of truth that lights the path of our days.

We SEE needs.
We MEET needs.
We LOVE because we are loved, not to BE loved.

And we remember the little 6 year old girl carrying all that worry, fighting through tears,
"I know my mama won't die."

We hear the woman say, "Really? I can have this? It's free? This was just what I needed!"

We hear, in that waiting, the far fetched dream of a 13 year old to own a guitar, then see it realized through Holy Spirit inspired generosity and obedience.

Yes, we feel the stretching of our lives as they're placed in God's hands and we allow Him to make us and call us useful...useful for His purposes, useful in His timing.

Useful.
Be that.
Not according to you, not for you.
For Him.
That's HOW He loves...through our available lives being used.

And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me."
Isaiah 6:8 ESV

We love because he first loved us.
1 John 4:19 ESV

You turn things upside down!
Shall the potter be regarded as the clay,that the thing made should say of its maker,"He did not make me";
or the thing formed say of him who formed it,"He has no understanding"?
Isaiah 29:16 ESV

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 2 Corinthians 4:7 ESV

And the Lord came and stood, calling as at other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" And Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant hears."
1 Samuel 3:10 ESV