Tuesday, August 11, 2015

The Leaving: Hope for a Mama's Heart

It's an unspoken mommy truth: one day they will leave.
This baby in your arms that you have waited on, prayed for, dreamed of, will one day drive away into their own dreams.
And so we push that truth down and blink away tears and keep that little unspoken dammed up behind our mommy wall so we can live the day.
Not because we wish it away or believe we can delay it, but simply because the thought of living without your heart seems paralyzingly impossible.

When they seek you out for a hug, advice, snuggles, quality time...the unspoken flashes before you, and you linger in that moment to help stand on your feet in the soon to come.
But how did we even get here? How are these little feet even walking, running, driving, going out into this big world without us holding those stubby little fingers in ours?
How did time sneak up on us?

No one tells you in those endless, sleepless nights of vomit and nightmares that it is inching closer. 
No one tells you in the sibling squabbles and slamming doors that it's closing in on the horizon.
When we wish any of it away, we move past the very moments that unite us in the days beyond the leaving. 
Every ache, every tear, every fight, every stumble are opportunities for roots to dig deeper, so they can fly higher.
Every laugh, every accolade, every face to face moment, every I love you, wire us for a lifetime of connection that distance cannot undo.

So yes, our hearts will ache with love and pride that swell as they stand up in who they are, this grown up human they are destined to be. 
And yes, that unspoken truth behind that wall in the depths of our mama hearts may even burst and result in a massive flood of tears and emotion.
But it isn't because we haven't known it was coming- it's because we didn't see how quickly it was approaching. 

Mommies know their babies will leave.
But we breathe deep because our babies know the truth we have been imprinting on their hearts every moment before this leaving one: they can always come back. 

Your baby may walk out of your door, they can never walk out of your heart.
Release the leaving and hold onto that mommy truth. 


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