Tuesday, May 25, 2010

In the Waiting


Laundry. The bane of my existence.



It is never done.



It is the job infinitely unfulfilled and incomplete.



I dread it. I procrastinate.
And then, I end up exactly where I am at this moment: waiting on the dryer to stop so I can go to sleep.
And no, I cannot just go on to bed because dryers left running unattended account for…well, some amount or number of house fires I heard somewhere. And that statistic, little or big as it may be, still looms in my mind and reminds me to stay awake- or get someone else to- if the dryer is still going when it is time for beddy-bye.
So here I sit at 1am in the morning at my desk in a dark house, save the glow of my computer and the faint light of my laundry closet creeping onto my kitchen floor, with the low rumble of the dryer lulling me into a sleep that I cannot embrace at the moment!

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.

I really despise laundry.
Don’t I?
Well, maybe not.
As I ponder this, I realize that it isn’t actually the laundry that I despise; it is the laundering of the clothes that frustrates me so.
Laundry is that which gets laundered. So to say I dislike laundry is to say I dislike clothing, and…well…one glance at my closet will confirm that I do, in fact, like clothing.
So, you see, it is the act of laundering that truly is the source of these woes.
But the reality is, these clothes I like so well, if I desire to continue wearing them in such a way that is enjoyable and not brandishing a foreboding stench, then I must enter in to this place of laundering in order to experience the benefits that it affords me.
I simply place my garments in the washer and then dryer, carefully reading and following instructions on how to go about this task of cleaning my clothes so they are ready for wear.

My garments cannot go unlaundered or they ultimately will become useless- something they were never created or purchased to be.

So how are your garments…the garments of your soul and spirit?
Have you come to see the purifying of your soul and spirit as the bane of your existence, where dread leads to procrastination and the inability to “arrive” drives you insane as you stare at your unfulfilled, incomplete self?

Are you allowing them to be laundered so that they can be used in the purpose for which they were created and then purchased on the cross?
The reality is that so little is required for you and I to receive so very much.
I do not have to stand and scrub those clothes- I simply sort, measure, load.
I do not have to use the breath from my lungs to restore those clothes to a condition in which I could comfortably wear them- I simply toss them in the dryer and press start.

Yet, I speak of the process as though I did the work; like the labor was mine alone.
I wear my frustration as a badge of honor, a decorated heroine who has fought the battle of endless socks and won- if only for a fleeting moment…

But as I sit here and wait, I realize that I have done all that I can do and now I must simply wait and let the dryer do the rest...bring to completion what my act of faith began.

It would be pointless for me to keep running to the dryer every 5 seconds just to be absolutely certain that it really was going to dry my clothes.
I simply have to trust.
I have to do what I can do and then leave the rest up to the dryer.
Have I connected to the power source? Check.
Have I surrendered the clothing? Check.
Have I turned it on to access the power? Check.
Have I been patient in allowing it to accomplish what is intended? Well…………
Not so much.

I long for new clothes, fresh clothes, clothes that are exactly what I need for what is ahead of me at any given moment. Garments that have been through the wash and smell clean and fresh and ready to wear…that is what my heart cries out for.

But the fear of laundering must be cast aside.

The fear of what may happen to the garment cannot keep it from being lovingly placed in the wash so that it can be made clean and ready for the wear.
Clothes were made to be worn and enjoyed!

They only become a chore when they are dirty and in need of being cleansed!
We must each come to the realization that day by day, the stench of flesh rubs off on the garment of our spirit and we are in need of laundering.

Why? So that the blessing, joy, freshness, and newness can freely and fully flow in, breathe on us and prepare us to be effectively and completely used.

We cannot keep trying to find brand new clothes readily offered by the world and even borrowed clothes to put on when we haven’t allowed the Lord to cleanse the ones we have...our God-given clothes!
Take responsibility and do what has to be done.

In the words of Joyce Meyer, “ Just do what you can do and allow God to do what you cannot do.”

What does my impatience reveal? Too little faith and too much fear and feelings.

I simply must do what God has told me to do and have faith that He is working and doing everything that I cannot.
The result?
Garments that are pure and fresh…that have the scent of the Father lingering over them, the warmth of His touch radiating from them.
The kind of garments that you put you face into and breathe deeply and exhale,
“Ahhhh…this is the product of my waiting.”

The dryer just stopped....whew....and it scared me half to death as its BUZZZZZ broke the silence!

I was caught up in this writing God had called me to do- His speaking in the midst of my waiting.
Hmmmm.
Wow.
Just like that...............the silence is broken.

The process that induced the waiting has come to an end and the result is ready to be embraced…so that more of Him and less of me can be the reality in which I live and move and have my being.

There is always more laundering of this filthy soul to be done.
So I will simply do what I can do, what He asks me to do-and allow Him to do all that I cannot.
The filth of this soul that I loathe to launder is a glimpse at the great potential for the purity of Christ.

As I place it in the washer and dryer, the waiting produces a garment that is fresh and righteous according to God’s grace and goodness.

Not because of anything good that I have done, but because of the obedience in doing what I could do and having faith for Him to do the rest.

There are many “silences” in my life that I long to be broken. Some big; Some small.
But I will wait.
And then, I will breathe in the freshness only His Spirit can bring.

I will breathe deep the scent of my Father, embrace the warmth of His presence and I will exhale, “Ahhhhh…Lord, more of YOU is always worth the waiting.”

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me."
Micah 7:7