Something Beautiful

The story behind this pic goes a lot deeper than your scroll could ever take you. 
When we parked directly across from this sign, I immediately told my teen daughter we HAD to take her picture there! 
She was hesitant. 
I was like WHAT?! Get over there! You embody that sign! That is ALL YOU! We are taking your picture! 

And we did. And they are beautiful. 

But here is the irony...

She wanted to take some of me, too. And I complied. 

But all of them-I honestly cringed at. 

I picked apart every flaw of myself. 
My size, my wrinkles, my hair, my outfit, my belly, my teeth...all of it. 
I laughed at thinking I was even worthy to stand in front of a sign bearing that word: beautiful. 

When we came back to the car, we took a few more with friends- because let’s be honest- it is a really hip backdrop. 

And as we walked away, Logan, not knowing we had already taken some of me, asked if I wanted her to take some, and I obliged. 

So I did my best to smile pretty, suck it in and- well- you know the drill.  

While we were taking them she stopped and said, “Ok. Fix your smile.”
And I knew exactly what she meant. I was looking frozen. 😜

I was losing myself in the picture of beautiful I was trying to create. 

So I made some funny faces to loosen up and then looked back at her laughing at my own crazy. 

And this is the picture she caught. 

It’s my real laugh- the one that makes my eyes get lost in my wrinkles and my big ole mouth overtake my face. And I didn’t care about the sucking in or what my hair was doing...because...well...laughter does that. 

I didn’t even look at the picture right then because I knew I would be dissatisfied- ready to unleash the list of “if only’s” I have long memorized and spoken to myself: 
If only I was smaller, if only I was younger, if only my nose wasn’t crooked, if only, if only, if only- THEN maybe I would share this picture. 
If only I felt worthy of being called something beautiful. 

Y’all. I am 41. And I still struggle with this. I struggle with seeing the beauty because I am too busy studying the ashes. 

Caught up in what I do or don’t see instead of what my Father says. 

Maybe you completely have no clue what I’m talking about- maybe it’s just me. But I have a feeling I’m not the only one. I think in some way or another we all struggle to see ourselves as “something beautiful”. 

I think back to the moment my girl hesitated to take her picture with these words, and how my heart broke thinking she felt even for a second unworthy of that. 

And I know my Father must feel the same when I speak lying labels over myself, when I choose to listen to every other thing about who I am except what my Father says about me. 

If only I fully believed that Jesus died to free me of those lies, to bring beauty for my ashes, joy for my mourning...

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Isaiah 61:1-3 

What can’t be lost in looking at this verse is the why found in verse three: it is all for the display of HIS splendor- for His glory to be made known. 

THAT is the reason I live and breathe. Whether that amounts to the world’s current definition of outward beauty, or even my own- the TRUTH remains that Jesus’ death and resurrection has redeemed me from every lie and brought the beauty God intended into my life. 

What HE calls beautiful. 

And I am simply called to make that known. 

To take this something beautiful and become someone surrender to something wonderful: 

His perfect love. 

I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a place where I get this right- even a slight majority of the time. 

But it doesn’t mean it’s ok for me to stop trying. 

I’ll wake up each day asking for His mind, His eyes, His heart...and His strength to live it all out in a world that looks so different. 

Go live loved. 

Because you are. 

You are something beautiful. 

Let’s remind each other of that #SimpleTruth more often.