There are days I feel really small.
Itty bitty.
Tiny up next to the size of the struggle around me and those looming ahead of me.
And itty bitty next to great big? It's scary.
Fear tells me I am weak and I listen long to those words.
My kids mess up. "I'm a failure."
I step out in my gifting. "Why would anyone listen to you?"
I look in the mirror. "You are going to walk out of the house looking like that?"
I scroll through Facebook. "Too bad you aren't as whatever as so-and-so."
Life feels big and uncomfortable and heavy- like Saul's armor draped on the little shepherd boy David- and panic sets in because I see how small I am...and I know a Goliath is close on my horizon.
All I really want to do is run from these ugly giants in my life.
Because little ole me cannot face big ole that.
I sit around like the Israelites listening to Goliath heckle them for 40 days, 2 times a day(that's 80 stinking times- for those of you who don't want to hurt your brain).
They listened to what the enemy called them.
They hunkered down in their smallness and gave ear to his lies.
But David stood up in the middle of feeling less than.
He didn't stand up in who HE was; he stood up in who GOD is.
He reeked of sheep and the world's armor was ill fitting.
But David was a worshipper and what went before him was the aroma of praise.
David was small but he threw off what did not fit and embraced what the Lord had given him: a sling shot and five stones, to be exact.
He didn't compare. He didn't complain.
I have a lot to learn about that.
Throwing off the world's ideals, not listening to the enemy's taunts of who I am and who I am not.
David had a confidence that was great big because he didn't just know the promises of his great big God- he believed them.
He lived large in the middle of the reality of his less than...and giants fell.
Psalm 138:3 in the Message version says this:
"The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength."
I love that! HE makes my life large.
Not my trying, not my doing, not my fit pitching, not my fussing, not my creating, not my succeeding, not my attention seeking, not my anything.
My little life turns large when I cry out and turn it over to Him.
Those great bigs in my life are indeed great big.
But God is bigger.
I may indeed be less than, but in Christ I am greater than.
I can slay giants...and so.can.you.
I can slay giants...and so.can.you.
It's time to live large.
Don't give up, mom.
Don't give up, dad.
Don't give up, teacher.
Don't give up, pastor.
Don't give up, student.
Don't give up, senior adult.
Don't give up, business owner.
Don't give up, dreamer.
Don't.give.up.
God is at work in you and for you.
Don't give up, dad.
Don't give up, teacher.
Don't give up, pastor.
Don't give up, student.
Don't give up, senior adult.
Don't give up, business owner.
Don't give up, dreamer.
Don't.give.up.
God is at work in you and for you.
If you have breath in your lungs, He is not done with you yet, friend.
Grab your slingshot.
Let's go take down some giants.
"When I walk into the thick of trouble, keep me alive in the angry turmoil. With one hand strike my foes, With your other hand save me. Finish what you started in me, GOD. Your love is eternal—don’t quit on me now."
Psalm 138:7-8 The Message
Spread Truth today! Post and Tweet this:
"In Christ, I can live large in the middle of my less than...and giants WILL fall."-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth
What giants are you facing? What has you convinced you are less than?
Have you seen this truth in your life?
Comment below!
I would love to pray for you and see how your story can encourage others to grab their slingshot!
There is power in community and power in prayer!
(Read more about David's story and God showing up great big in 1 Samuel 17)
I really honestly have never struggled with being a "confident" person. I was never arrogant I don't think at all, but just never "ashamed" of myself or what I could do or not do. I embraced my strengths and didn't dwell on my weaknesses. I guess you could say I lived a relatively "easy" life comparatively. OF COURSE, I had my battles and struggles, but I felt like they paled in comparison to what some go through and therefore considered myself pretty fortunate. Then something happened. God gave me twins and every last thing about myself changed. And I feel like with each new year, "it" gets worse and worse. I don't know what to attribute it to, my 3 kids, the age and culture we live in, time and the fact that I do not (claim to not which is so not the case) bask myself in His word everyday. But somewhere between the blissful "I do," and child #3, I lost that "confidence." We move back to Greenville and I have to start over again. Some with the same friends from college (which is a blessing) but some completely new friends. So feelings of inadequacy begin to grow. Then if there was any ounce of "confidence" left, Pinterest have killed that for sure. I am not a crafty person (oh I wish I was, but I just aren't). My house looks NOTHING like I'd like it to inside and I beat myself up over that daily. I want to do so much but have so little strength. And our bodies, well we know that those change, which is just discouraging. I yell at my kids more and then feel so guilty about it. I love them more than anything. I treasure them, maybe too much. I give them priority over my husband, probably every time, and then feel guilty about that since it is completely counter-biblical. I love to write but don't have to confidence to do it. But in the midst of all my feelings of failure, there are days (not every) that I remember, not because of me, but because of HIM. CHRIST in me allows me to do and be. It is all because of Him. And if I had it all together all the time, if my house was perfect and my kids never fought and I never yelled (at them or my husband), grace would not be for me. But oh, I am so thankful that it is. Because when you experience God's sweet grace, it's like sugar, you just want more and more. And that sugar is a great one to partake in!
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this.
Praying for you Natalie as you seek to not just know of His grace, but breathe it in and out of every piece and portion of you life. He knit you together for this moment in History. No mistakes. That means that He has given you all you need for such a time as this! Perfection is elusive. You don't have to have it or work for it. Why? Because JESUS is the author and PERFECTER of our faith! (Hebrews 12). Trust Him and rest in His love for you! :)
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