Facing My Ugly

Life sometimes feels like a blender.

You take all these good, recognizable, individual ingredients, cram them into this container and hit the switch.

What you end up with is usually looks pretty disgusting. 

The kind of thing that evokes the question, “You’re gonna drink that?!?”. 

Yeah, life can be like that sometimes.

My life feels like that now.

My response? 

White knuckle grip something! Nail it all down! Whatever it takes to keep it all in place- yeah, do that!

I realize I need to let go.

Let go of the things I long to control, but cannot. 

But realizing I need to let go leads me to an even more uncomfortable place:

staring in the face of why I want to hold on. 

And it’s ugly.

Kind of like if you were to google spider bite images or boils or goiters or something. 

That kind of ugly.

The ugly you wish you’d never seen.

The ugly you wish you could scrub out of your mind’s eye.

But I’ve seen it now…this ugly that’s in my soul.

And so I must face it.

But unlike those horrific images that haunt behind closed eyes, looking full on at the ugly in our own soul doesn’t have to leave us scarred and scared.

When we see the worst part of ourselves magnified under the lens of the Holy Spirit, it is to bring us forgiveness and freedom.

Forgiveness for attitudes, choices, thoughts, actions, that not only hurt the heart of God, but the hearts of His created.

Freedom to leave those destructive patterns in the past and walk forward in grace.

Clarity is a fickle thing. Sometimes you long for it, beg for it, plead for it…wait for it.

And then it comes.

But the problem with clarity is that you can’t unsee what clarity reveals.

Once you see it, you have to respond.

There is no such thing as a lack of response. 

You are faced with the choice:

obedience or disobedience- cooperate with the Holy Spirit or cooperate with the enemy.

Neither is easy.

But only one gives life.

The one thing we can control is our choice of whom we will trust when life spins out of control. 

And it will.

It’s time to let go and trust that God is who He says He is- not just in everyone else’s life- but in yours, and in mine.

See. Know. Trust. Receive. Live.

God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly…and replace it with life giving grace.

So blend away, life.

Jesus is showing me how to enjoy the ride…even in the face of my ugly.

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."

Ezekiel 36:26

"So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet."

James 4:7-10

Post or Tweet this:

"God can’t bless who you pretend to be.

It’s time to face our ugly, and replace it with life giving grace.”-@JuliePMac #SimpleTruth 

What are you holding on to?

What in life has you in the blender, dizzy from it all?

I would love to pray for you!

Comment below.